(18F, 5'2, 90 lbs)
So, my partner and I have tried 3 seperate times so far to take my virginity, and its failed miserably each time.
Im a bit of a "small" person, and hes a pretty big guy. (6'9, 300 lbs), so obviously you can probably imagine the struggle.
Everytime he goes to put it in, i get the absolute worst pain ive ever felt in my life. (and yes i understand its usually 'suppose' to be somewhat painful) but, the pain is unbearable.
We decided to just do stuff like using fingers, to try and make it more "open", so it should be more 'tolerable' if we try again. But, its not changing anything. I bleed every single time we do this (use fingers), but its not painful. Its genuinely messing with my mental state, as wild as that sounds. It makes me feel like theres something wrong with me, and that ill never be able to ever have sex/have kids/"be like everyone else".
Ive honestly debated on going to a clinic and having them break my hymen for me, but im worried itll take that "special moment" from him.
All advice is appreciated. (not sure if i used correct flair, apologies if so)