How can I make my boyfriend touch me better?

We have been together for 10 years, so it should really not be a problem.. But it is. I have tried for so long to teach him how to touch me, lick me, finger me in a way that I like, and he just don’t get it. It makes me not want to have sex with him, it feels like he’s just crawling all over the place. I told him to watch some porn videos of a dude that is really good at licking and fingering, and he did watch them, once, and it hasn’t improved. It feels like he is going to suck my clit dry, he almost never fingers me, and he is terrible at foreplay. Everytime we have sex, it starts with him asking if we CAN have sex, it never happens romatically. And if it starts with some sort of foreplay its because I touch his dick and kiss him because I’m horny. If he takes initiative, he goes down on me to make me «wet» so he can penetrate me, and when he is not good at licking, and wont finger, it becomes a «fake» wetness, made by his spit, and its not good. All this together makes me not wanna have sex with him, I’m not attracted to him, especially not sexually, makes me fantasize about other men, its just a mess. Sorry for a long and complaining text, but I am so frustrated and thinking about ending things. Its been 10 freakin years