We got married in our early 20s, had a small and embarrassingly cheap wedding with the goal of saving money for a house in the long term forgoing many “young people” money mistakes such as Starbucks, designer bags and Vacations to Santorini. We paid off our student loans (no debt), no kids, stable jobs both making 6 figures in a VHCOL state.
We thought we would live frugal for a few years. 2020 happened, and 15 house offers (including lotteries for new construction) that never worked out. It’s been almost 9 years of marriage and the frugal lifestyle has worn us out. We don’t even know how to treat ourselves or enjoy ourselves. Lost most of our friends and basically isolated ourselves because we made all these sacrifices with nothing to show. We will never out save the housing market and inflation here.
Yes, we could move (away from our family) to a cheap state. Would have to find new jobs.
Yes, we could continue renting (a 1100 square foot apartment is $2900 without utilities and a house would be $4000+).
Either way we wouldn’t be happy. 9 years wasted for nothing. We are disappointed in each other, I’ve loss respect in my husband and I don’t see a path forward.
Edit: thank you for all the replies.
It is a VHCOL as stated above, I received enough “you need to move” comments. So please reply if you have alternate suggestions.
Edit 2: We are not poor.
We are exhausted from the rat race and our love has diminished. Because it’s extremely tiring and there’s no encouragement or uplifting. We can’t carry each other anymore.
Maybe “loss of respect” wasn’t accurate as some redditors suggested “resentment” instead.
Edit 3: I think I have scarcity mindset.