how many chances should i give an unloyal partner?
for reference he’s on his 4th chance, i know he loves me but i know he lies to me about his porn addiction and it completely rips up everything in the relationship that we have. and it’s not just regular porn, it’s very kinky, gay, furry porn and it disgusts me to no end, I’ve caught him many times with alt accounts, liked posts, search history, and sexting/having another relationship with a guy behind my back. I’ve known him for years, we’ve been through a lot already, but we’ve been dating for 7 months, im f19 and he’s m20.
the problem i have is that, I blame myself entirely for this because besides his lying and infidelity, he’s been the best boyfriend I’ve ever had. and i truly do still love him, but i don’t trust him. and sometimes i become so angry and disgusted and sad about the situation, and at myself for allowing myself to be manipulated and taken advantage of.
i genuinely believe that this is a me problem, not a him problem. I feel like if I would just get over myself and stop being so selfish and jealous that this relationship would be perfect and i would be happy and satisfied. besides catching him genuinely cheating that one time, i have caused most of the problems in our relationship for being so insecure about it. ive never cheated back, never watched porn behind his back, have always been loyal even in situations where ive been hit on. (which makes me angry because it makes me feel so disgusted about how easy HE is.) he treats me amazing besides this problem.
so here are my questions:
can i still be in this relationship if I don’t trust him?
can a guy still love and care for a girl yet cheat on her?
can I get over this insecurity?
how do I get over this?
can I make this work, and if so how much more should I put up with before saying enough is enough?