Am I always gonna be lonely
I am a 18 y/o. I have a great family who always support me and will always love me no matter what. But I always find myself to be lonely because no one invites me anywhere ( talking about my friends). I usually have no messages from friends, not a single one. My friends usually hang out together once in a while but I am never invited. This year I only got 1 or 2 birthday wishes from friends. It's like they all hate me. Before COVID I was usually bullied and beat up by my own classmates because it was easy for them cuz I was(still am) weak and couldn't fight back(still can't). I don't have any friend who stands with me during hard times. I usually have no female interaction. Even if I try to talk to them(very rare event because I am scared to talk to girls) I am usually given cold replies or not even talked back to. It's as if they think I eat kids. I have been called ugly and a chakka( Indian slang for transgender that is very disrespectful) by teachers and friends many times I guess because of this my self esteem and confidence is always low. I haven't had a single bestfriend in my 18 years of existence. I am starting college this year. Please help me make friends that are gonna be true friends whose gonna stay with me even in the hard times I face, who will motivate me to move further and not judge me. HELP ME FIND WHAT MANY CALL PARMANENT FRIENDS.