My [26F] boyfriend [26M] and I have been together for seven years and live together. But for the past few months there's been this issue and I feel like a total asshole for having it.
We met in university and he is the sweetest, most considerate partner, and man I have ever known. He is a fantastic listener, and completely dedicated to me, and (what initially attracted me to him) he is wickedly smart.
We both used to love to read, and in the early days, we used to write each other essays and trade them back and forth. I loved waking up and seeing texts or emails from him about some short story he'd read or novel we'd been reading together, with insight into the themes or the writing style. Every day there was something fascinating and new to talk about.
However, he has slowly stopped reading or engaging with anything. I think part of it is that early last year, his mom was diagnosed with cancer and the whole treatment process took a toll on the family. I was very supportive through the whole thing, taking over more household responsibilities, paying for things because he left his job to spend more time with his mom, etc. She is cancer free now, thank god.
Now the whole thing is settling, but he hasn't gotten back into anything he used to enjoy. I talk to him about things I'm reading and he just says variations on, "Oh, that sounds interesting," instead of engaging with me like he used to. He hasn't read anything I've recommended him in the past eight months, even though he always says he's planning on it. I've posted some essays on my personal substack and asked him what he thinks, and all he says is, "Yeah, that's really good. You did great."
All he does is watch tiktoks and reality TV. I miss when he was passionate and always had something to share. Whenever I try to talk to him about something I know he used to like, he listens attentively, and then says something like, "Cool, thanks for telling me :)" But it's starting to feel like he doesn't care.
I wouldn't mind if he had just found another passion (because I want to care about the things he cares about), but after five years of insightful essays and private book clubs and him being the first person to give me feedback on my essays, I can't help but feel like he's a different man.
Am I being unreasonable? Should I tell him to stop spending all his time watching "Too Hot To Handle" and tiktoks?
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tl;dr – my [26F] boyfriend [26M] of seven years only watches TV and tiktok (he dropped all his hobbies after his mom's cancer ordeal). I am frustrated with him often. Am I being unreasonable? Should I tell him to get a hobby?