My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and we used to have a pretty consistent sex life.
Around 1 month ago I finally worked up the courage to get an IUD. It was my first time ever seeing a gynecologist, and long story short, the procedure was so incredibly uncomfortable and painful that I cried out in pain and the doctor had to stop. She left the room to let me collect myself and I was fighting back tears. I was still shaken up for the rest of the day. Then I fell into an extreme depressive episode that lasted around 1 week because I was still having cramps from the procedure and it kept reminding me of the horrible experience.
I started to feel better quickly, and soon I tried to have sex with my bf again, but it was really uncomfortable because I kept thinking about the gynecologist during the act. I had to ask him to stop abruptly and I started sobbing asking him why the procedure had hurt so much.
Afterwards I decided that I didn’t like sex anymore and we didn’t have any for a whole month. Then today I suddenly felt like trying again, but it was the same. We tried multiple times. When he enters me I immediately tense up. I struggle to relax. I try very hard to control my thoughts and stay focused on my boyfriend. At one point, all I could think about was the speculum and I started crying uncontrollably and I had to tell him to stop again.
I feel like there is something wrong with me. My boyfriend insists that there is nothing wrong with me and that I just need more time, but I am so frustrated that I don’t get to enjoy sex like a normal person. I know this is definitely not normal. Why is this happening and how do I fix it?
EDIT: I never actually got the IUD. I asked for a local anesthetic to help with the pain, and when the doctor put the needle in my cervix I cried out in pain and she had to stop.
Tl;dr I am unable to enjoy sex because I keep thinking about my first gynecologist visit.