My husband has been searching for a full time job for about 3 months now. If I had to guess, he’s probably applied to less than 20 so far. He recently got a part time job with about 10 hours a week after I was begging him for months to find something temporarily. For context, I have a full time job that just barely covers our bills. I usually work about 50 hours a week and my job can be very stressful at times. Right now is one of those times where I am extremely stressed and overwhelmed.
I asked my husband how I can better support him in his job search. I was thinking I could help him tailor his resume, send him jobs to apply for, etc. His response was that he can’t apply for jobs if our apartment is messy. Then, went on to complain about how I don’t clean enough. He said between his part time job, going to the grocery store, and cooking dinner ~3 nights a week, he doesn’t have enough time to clean. He often sleeps in until 11/12 and spends a lot of time watching Netflix, so I think he does have the time. When I point out that he does have time and could clean while I am working, he then claims that because he has ADHD, he can’t clean unless I am also cleaning.
He thinks that I don’t clean as much as him, but I disagree. I think we split the cleaning in our place pretty equitably. We each have our own chores that we both do, as well as ones that we take turns doing. Our apartment is definitely not dirty, but we could both clean up more often for sure. If something needs to be cleaned, he passive aggressively tells me instead of doing it himself. Although I think we are splitting the cleaning chores pretty evenly right now, I also think he could do more around the house until he has a full time job.
I’m not sure what to do now. I do want to support him in finding a new job, however I kind of think he is just finding excuses and I don’t think it’s really fair for me to do the majority of the household chores while working full time if my partner is working 10 hours a week. How can I approach this problem with my husband?