Would you date someone who had a parent LIVING WITH THEM? As in the person you would be dating owns the house and pays the bills, but one parent lives with her.
This is the situation I'm potentially looking at soon. My dad is not unable to live by himself or unable to care for himself, but he does has learning disabilities and not hard to tell he isn't "all there." I alread help him with some things such as rides to store/doctor, paperwork, electronics, etc. We get along good and have always been close. I would do anything for him so when he says he is ready to move in with me on a permanent basis I'm inclined to say ok.
I'm also concerned what that would do for my dating life when I decide to put myself back out there. So many people it's a deal breaker if someone lives with their parents. Technically, this is the other way around. I wouldn't be relying on him financially or anything. Would this kind of situation be a deal breaker for you? I would think any respectable person would understand that I love my dad and want to help him where I can and in turn would see that I take care of those I love. But my logic isn't always the same as others so please way in and thanks for reading.
9 comments
>Would you date someone who had a parent LIVING WITH THEM?
Probably not.
And the exact circumstances/reasons don’t matter.
>Would this kind of situation be a deal breaker for you?
Yes, because it has all the same drawbacks as living in your parents’ house.
> I would think any respectable person would understand that I love my dad and want to help him where I can and in turn would see that I take care of those I love.
Oh, I understand completely, and respect you greatly for the love and sacrifice you’re taking on in caring for your parent.
And yet, I still probably won’t date you.
I am in a similar situation. Just be upfront about it, and you will find a partner who will support you in this.
There was a topic about this a while back. My initial thought was it wouldn’t be a problem for me but someone pointed out that it would pose challenges to getting married and starting a family. After thinking a little deeper about it I don’t think I would date someone that was taking care of their parent. Relationships are hard to begin with and adding the additional challenges that would pose just seems like more then I would want to take on. If I was just looking to date for fun and not to get married and start a family it would be easier to handle.
Pff. I honestly don’t know
Yeah, but it depends on reasons, and how much it would change our way of living. Are they difficult to live with?
I’m from an Asian background so it’s sorta expected but I’m not living with my parents right now due to work and etc. Nevertheless, I would not outright refuse them if they wanted to. I might find a nearby apartment so I can visit them regularly (like a 5 minute walk) if my future wife wants privacy or space
This is a personal take and I’m gonna get downvoted since reddit is super US centric: but people who say no immediately or refuse their parents asking for accommodations (not even necessarily in the same house)… probably have ongoing issues with their parents or were kicked out or their parents are horrible people, or something else. I just can’t imagine a happy and loving family with a kid refusing their old parents some company and help.
He has never been one to mettle in my relationships. Heck, I usually can’t get an honest opinion of someone I date because “you will do and date whoever you want to regardless of what I think.” I am very independent. The drawback I see is someone else is there…when you want to be alone. Although I know he will mostly stick to his room. As for me, I have a great job. I make my own money. I pay my own bills. I do my own things. It’s not a “she don’t want to be an adult” type situation, which I absolutely do understand why someone would say no to that. Appreciate the comments.
I had thought about such case and no, I wouldn’t. If we were already a couple then that wouldn’t bother me as much. But if we would only be starting to date – nope.
Taking care of an old parent will be pretty much as taking care of small child maybe even more difficult. Unless you are able to hire someone to help and it means that you will have more freedom.
Otherwise I don’t imagine how can it work out. How do you see relationships yourself when you will be taking care of your parent?
First mad respect to you for taking care of your Dad. Yeah I would
If it would be a temporary thing? Not an issue for me at all. It’s a green flag that this person is taking care of her parent. Yet if we were together for a year+ and the situation hasn’t change yet, then it would be a point of discussion for me.