About half a year ago, my boyfriend told me that I make him feel unwanted. Since then, I’ve tried to put more effort into my words of affirmation and physical touch. It was awkward at first because I wasn’t used to it, but nowadays it comes more natural and I try to compliment his looks/touch him daily. These past few months he has also started going to the gym more frequently and building muscle. I think he thinks that my increased attraction to him is due to this, but it’s not. It’s because I love him and don’t want him to feel unwanted.
Ever since I started reassuring him more physically, I noticed that he rarely gives me compliments/say anything about how I look. I think it’s been like this for a while, but I just never noticed it until now. I asked him about it tonight and he said it’s because I don’t go to the gym to work on myself so there is nothing to compliment. He also said that the only thing I do is put on makeup, which doesn’t make a difference to him. This stung. What does it mean that he has nothing to compliment? Does he think I’m ugly? Does his gym comment mean he thinks I’m fat? I told him how I felt and he said I’m putting words in his mouth and that he never said “fat” or “ugly.” But if that wasn’t what he thought of me then why does he have absolutely nothing nice to say about me physically?