I will keep things short instead of explaining in paragraphs and be confusing.
Background:
– I'm 27F with partner 27M, both beginners
– No history of sexual abuse or molestation
– Live in a very conservative country but has let go of purity culture and religion's doctrine
– I used to masturbate using syntribation (applying pressure to crotch, closed legs) and have never used a tampon or my own fingers
– Our first attempt, we took it slowly with foreplay and lube but when it's just a finger, my body seemed to tense away and pull away when it's about to enter deeper
– Second attempt, he got impatient and I still pulled away.
– i'm not holy at all, I consider myself a pervert since I have no qualms watching porn and fantasizing about sexual stuff like imagining a dick inside and was excited also but my body won't agree
I don't know how I can overcome this barrier I don't even know, illogical fear of first time (I know it will hurt a bit probably but afterwards it'd be rewarding).
Is there any tips or advice for both of us?
I'm not sure if it's a contributing factor but… Personally, my life's been quite stressful and busy with me constantly having tiredness and lack of sleep almost everyday except for the days I decided to rest since I'm feeling unwell. Me and my partner's working hours don't match so it was hard to find time to try to be intimate. I have braced myself more for the plan of our first time and we set aside a weekend to do it. My tiredness scale was on 40% as opposed to the usual 60% or more and we set the mood as well but it failed.
I want to be able to have PIV sex so any help would be appreciated.
1 comment
Sounds unnatural. You could take the pressure off of it by not planning anything at all. Just be yourselves, learn each others bodies by kissing, touching, exploring, waiting until you are super wet and slippery and then if you FEEL like you need him inside you, you can try. Sometimes it’s more mentally safe if the girl is on top and has control of the speed and impact. That will probably be the least painful as well.
Honestly, my first time didn’t hurt at all, it was just a little uncomfortable afterward because I hadn’t ever used that area before, ya know? We took our time and were just relaxed and trusted each other to be honest and open about what we needed or wanted.
Best of luck!