Since highschool I've (31M) been working around older people (45+) or from home (last 10yrs). I don't have any friends and can't fit in with people my age. Every conversation is like a professional and transactional.
I tried going out to local social events like board game nights, joined some team sports leagues. Some people suggested going to bars and dancing but I can't stand being in crowds or losing control (alcohol). I've also been told to get an in-person job but I don't want to switch because it's quite flexible and pay is good. Anyway I work in tech and have to stare at a screen most of the time anyway.
Being in a crowd I shut down mentally, have one word conversations. I'm ok 1-1 but that rarely happens, especially since people first see me as a quiet wierdo I guess 😅
I feel mentally stunted in social situations because I've never been there before or haven't had common experiences. It's hard to connect with others and its driving me bit crazy.
How do I fix this?