I M(25) had been going out with a girl(F22) for about 1.5 months. I am a funny person but sometimes my humor is dark.
So one day I was in the car with my girlfriend and I saw a prostitute (My girlfriend had said multiple times earlier that she has never seen a prostitute), I said that there is one but we passed her before she could see her. She said again I have never seen a prostitute. I said that have not you seen in the mirror as a joke.
Now I did not realise that she would be so offended by it she stopping picking my calls and replying to my texts. I thought about what could be the reason and realised that it is because of that joke. I apologised several times but she never talked to me again. Its been 4 months now
I love her so much and I did not mean a word I said it was just a disgusting joke.
I need advice did I do so wrong to be ghosted like that. She could have ended things in person. Also is there a chance to get her back? I love her so much and have not been able to sleep properly since then.
I am not able to forgive myself please help.
34 comments
Listen. If it was me, I’d say “i’ll send you the bill later”. My point is your humor didnt match hers. I dont think you did anything wrong. Her reaction isnt wrong either. Isnt that what dating is? Getting to know each other, and assessing compatibility. You already apologized. Im not sure you can do much more if she is not receptive. Keep looking for your person!
A woman’s pov
I don’t think your joke was dark
Just not funny
You apologized but she’s prob done at this point..
Ya never know though, maybe she’ll come back around..
Give her space for now, if you already knew her (like the same friends group) so you’ll prob see her around at some point
I guess I don’t get why that was even a joke, it’s just mean spirited and not funny.
The most important thing I can tell you is that pinning for 4 month for a girl that you dated for 1.5 is not normal.
Sounds to me like you have an scarcity mindset and are holding on to what you had. It is time to move on.
I have a pretty dark humour. I joked about my grandma dying in mo other grandma’s funeral. I would never call my gf a prostitute as a joke. I know she wouldn’t take it well. And at 1.5 month, I didn’t know how she would have take it, so I wouldn’t have done it.
The good thing is that humour is amazing for dating, keep it up, just don’t go around calling your dates prostitutes.
Isn’t humor supposed to be funny?
1.5 months and you called her a street walker lmfao she was like. “Next” and then you spend FOUR MONTHS being ghosted… dude. News flash. It’s over
It’s been four months….if she wanted to talk/try again you’d know by now
It might not be your ill-timed and unfunny joke that cooled things down. She may be somewhat concerned with your amazing ability to spot any working prostitute, at a distance, while speeding along in a moving vehicle. I would think that talent would take years to learn.
Sometimes I say stuff for fun but this was really not funny and was disrespectful. Its hard to come back from this!
This type of humour only gets worse. You picked on her and will continue to do so because you think it’s funny. It only demoralizes her and erodes her self esteem, little by little. You are supposed to be protecting her, not attacking her.
It’s too late to salvage this. You probably don’t realize that there’s probably more to it than that last joke. It was the last straw.
Hopefully you can grow up and learn from this experience with your next gf.
All you did was call her a prostitute idk why that would’ve been funny😭 especially in such an early stage of dating, no ones gonna want to date someone who’s probably just going to insult them and say its a joke
Dude. Grow the f*ck up. Not joke. Just plain mean and immature. Good girl for ghosting you. She knows her worth and won’t waste time on people that verbally disrespect her. NO woman would find that funny.
Let her go. Leave her alone. Learn from your mistake and move on. Yeah, bro. You did F*ck up.
It’s been 4 months, it’s over
Move on
If it’s been 4 months, I highly doubt she’ll be coming back. Treat this as a lesson and move on.
Comedy is subjective. Most people that claim to have dark humor unfortunately don’t understand the “humor” portion of that statement and tend to focus too much on the “dark” side. The key with dark humor is lightening the dark subject with a funny punch line or some other funny quip. Also, you have to know your audience, because not everyone can use the same “dark humor” joke to every crowd because the other element to dark humor is relatability. Does the person making the joke actually relate to who they’re talking to? Or are they disconnected from the reality of the heaviness of what they just brought up and are making fun of something that they themselves have no idea or experience in? Because that right there will often be the deciding factor as to whether your dark humor is actually dark humor, or if you’re just being an insensitive asshole that doesn’t have a clue about the hardships others face, yet you try to hide it by saying “ChiLl bRo, It wAS JuSt a jOkE”.
But I will echo some other comments in saying you just prolly weren’t a good match with her. Leave her be and good luck with the next one
Well 4 months after 1.5 months is a pretty big gap in time. I have my doubts but good luck brother
OP you need to get over it. You knew the person for 1.5 months, it’s not the end of the world. You live and learn and you need to come out of this stronger. She could have ghosted you for that joke or it could have been a million different reasons. What you need to do is respect her decision and move one.
Yeah, you fumbled the bag big time, mate. That’s on you to figure out. Sorry you were dumped because of it but you can’t assume everyone’s gonna share your sense of humor. She didn’t appreciate that joke and saw herself out. Find yourself a girl who tolerates those kinds of jokes or (more simply) just don’t gamble your budding relationship on dumb jokes like those
Dude you called her a ‘prostitute’ indirectly…
And you not realising how distributing and disgusting it must’ve sounded to her is even more problematic…
Calling her a ‘prostitute’ is not even a ‘dark’ joke at this point, pls go and learn what a dark joke is first of all.
Ofcourse she left you and ghosted you 🙄
You deserved it
I think what’s really funny here is that when men think they are funny and say “jokes” to their SO it’s always insults either towards her or other women. Grow up!
Are you sure you love her or you just want something you can’t have?
My advice is learn to be more empathetic toward women by doing research about women and how to treat them better.
In a month and a half you were sure you loved her? And then you called her a prostitute?
Lol she bounced fast. Smart girl
Considering it’s been 4 months, I think it’s safe to assume its over. But for your future partners…PLEASE, change that behavior. Unless you find someone who really can match your humor like this truly, that type of stuff just hurts a relationship. Coming from a very long relationship where my partner often made dark / gross jokes, I overlooked that stuff because I truly loved him and wrote it off as a “personality quirk” but after leaving the relationship I realized how much it chipped away at me (insults and jabs disguised as “jokes”) and I had told asked him multiple times to stop it and change that behavior but he wouldn’t. Just something to keep in mind.
If it’s been 4 months not hearing from her sorry to say she has blocked u and moved on
There may be an overlap but definitely a difference between dark humor and being rude.
You may think that your statement to the girl was a part of your humor as a part of who you are, but it sounds like you’re trying to defend yourself from the reality that it was in fact, a degrading statement towards another person.
You need to understand the consequences of these types of jokes and who and when you say them to. However, I will say that in my opinion, your statement to her was not only distasteful, but I cannot think of any reasons as to why you thought it was a ‘joke’?
It is an insult, and there is a difference.
Even if you get back together, this thing won’t go away from her heart and she would still hate you for how little you think of her. It would only trigger her insecurities more being around you. So you better go and learn some basic ethics before moving on to the next person.
Humor is in the eye of the beholder. You guys aren’t compatible. Let her go.
51M here. This is a lesson. You were incredibly rude and insulting to someone you had only known for six weeks.
Now you’re learning, maybe for the first time, that there’s a difference between joking around with your Bros vs. someone that you like romantically.
You cannot get this woman back. Remember this moment next time you think you’re trying to be funny. Sometimes, you need to take a minute and think about how the line will play out in your head, before you let it pass your lips.
I don’t think it’s JUST because of that joke. I think that’s the joke that put it over the top for her. She probably let other jokes slide because the relationship was new but a joke at her expense is disrespectful. I have a feeling she’s not the first person you’ve offended with your jokes. And while making a woman laugh is great, it’s all about tact and timing.
At this point, all you can do is sincerely apologize and tell her you’ll never do it again but some people aren’t that forgiving. Especially if she’s dealt with that in the past with someone else. Sorry dude. Lesson learned for next time. Good luck!
Respect her space please .
You love her after a month and a half?? Doesn’t seem like a real relationship to her since she ghosted you without saying a word..
4 months is a long time to get over someone you didn’t date for even half that time. Just use this as a lesson and let her go bro. Life is too short, You’re going to make mistakes and women will come and go just make sure you treat them right and with respect like you would want your mother, sister, or daughter to be treated. You’ll figure it out eventually.
You knew someone for 1.5 months and are “so in love with them” … you said that not once but.. 2? 3? Times in your post? Dude, she ran from you… not because of a joke you made… because you’re crazy and no one wants to date someone obsessed like that… not healthy. No offense.
LMFAOOOOO I’m a woman and would cut you off too. You are one dumb ass to literally insult her and then still expect her to speak to you 😂😂. Should have thought about that before you spoke 😂😂