I’m 20 F and my boyfriend is 20 F . We have been together for about a year and a half and are slightly long distance (he lives in my hometown and I’m a state away for college). Our plans are to hopefully move in together once I graduate, but I’m scared to because he has like ZERO ambition. I’m studying Social Work and plan to get a Masters and hopefully travel as much as I can.
My boyfriend on the other hand works an entry level job, has no license, not interested in trade school or community college, and still lives with his parents. I don’t mind that he still lives with them, but he relies on his mom a lot. I remind him to set up a DMV appointment and he always says “I’ll talk to my mom about it today.” But like does he understand that he’s an adult and should be learning this? I struggle to pay my own rent and really live on my own so it’s hard to watch him sit and be stuck in a loop while I’m trying to set a secure future. He also is constantly tired, I have to drag him to go anywhere and once I had to sleep in my car outside his house for 2 hours because he wouldn’t wake up to let me in… I love him a lot and his personality, but it’s really concerning and honestly a huge turn off at this point.
I want to give him time to learn how to me productive and take care of himself with his mental health, but I’m at a loss at this point. I want it to work out but I don’t want to end up in a situation where I take care of a man cause he’ll no. I believe in 50/50 effort.
So i guess I’m asking, how do I really make him realize that I’m going to leave unless he changes? Confrontation is hard for me lol.