My husband doesn’t do anything for me.
My husband and I have 5 kids ranging between 3 and 15.
We are both full time working parents who work in office 3 days a week and two days at home.
When I’m home, I make our bed, I do our laundry, I cook our dinners, I clean up messes, I do the groceries. You get the point.
My husband does the dishes and helps with the kids. When I cook he tends to help by keeping kids occupied and or cleaning up behind me.
When he goes into the office and I’m home with all of the kids, I still have dinner prepped, the house moderately clean and any other task I can do while working.
When I go into the office, I come home to a disaster. I still have to stop and grab groceries, come home cook dinner, the beds not made, I have to clean. It’s exhausting.
I often clean up after him, I clean our room, I make our bed. When I go out I buy him stuff, I make him food he likes, I plan dates for us but I get nothing in return.
The laundry piles, the baby's clothes become stained if I don't get to them.
He knows when our youngest gets her milk at night before bed yet if I don't ask, he doesn't do it.
This is all second nature to me but not to him unless I'm not there.
There's been many time when our kids aged 6, 8 and 12 haven't had lunch because "they didn't ask"
I feel like I do so much for him and our family and no one ever thinks of me.
I’ve talked to him so many times to explain that just making my coffee once in a while and making the bed for me goes a long way. Just to do something for me to make my day easier.
I’m so mentally drained I can't even imagine how it would feel to come home to a clean house, dinner made and most of the chores taken off my plate.
When he goes into the office I do this because I have to but he doesn’t feel he has to.
If we traded off that because I’m in the office and he’s home then I do everything when I get home and then when he’s in the office he comes home and he does everything that would be different.
Or the person that is at home does everything so the person who is in office doesn’t have to do everything but right now, no matter what situation, I am always the one doing it all.
I’ve talked and talked and talked and I’m always promised change with no follow through.
This isn’t worth a divorce in my opinion but I don’t know what to do.
I’m sorry I’m rambling, I’m exhausted.
Please help, what would your approach be ?