I have a close friend, let's call him Mark
So Mark thinks that am heatless, selfish and not flexible because i have couple of standards that I would never start a relationship without them
He said by this am dealing with the relationships as project, I will never be able to find the guy because he maybe be right in front of me but because of my inflexibility, i may not see him
And that I should develop a relatonship and build a sort of emotional bond first then to start to discuss the bounderies because at this point, the feelings are gonna make us more open and more compromising
On the other hand, I think I cannot start a relarion with someone if they don't meet my standards from the beggining
TL;DR
What comes first, the emotions then we build the standars
Or the bounderis then we develop emotions