I've been in a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend for 1.5 years. We started dating in December 2022, just 20 days before college ended. Since then, we've been apart, as he moved to Canada for his master's program in September 2023, a plan he had even before we met. Up until he left, I felt amazing in this relationship. I have had a difficult past, and being with him felt like a breath of fresh air. He's funny, smart, plays the piano, and sings for me. He always went the extra mile to make me happy, and I never felt hesitant to share things with him. Our relationship felt strong and secure because we rarely fought, and even when we did, things quickly returned to normal.
However, when he arrived in Canada, things changed. He had to adjust to a new environment, time zone, and country. Although he still managed to make time for me for about three months after his arrival, things began to shift around January 2024. We started having more frequent, petty arguments, and he stopped doing the little things he used to do without me asking. This continued for a few months, and amidst the chaos, he tried to break up with me, saying he felt he wasn't giving me enough and that I deserved someone better. I was devastated and did everything I could to prevent the breakup. With the help of my best friend, who helped us work through things, we reconciled after a day, but the experience left me deeply shaken.
After that, I developed a fear that he might break up with me again. For the next three months, I found myself compromising and resolving our issues, regardless of who was at fault, which affected my self-respect. On our 1.5-year anniversary, we were still fighting, and I reached a breaking point. I was angry, sad, and desperate because I had put aside my feelings and fears to save the relationship. He realized his mistakes and expressed regret, saying he didn't deserve me and that I should find someone better. I wanted him to be the person he used to be a year ago, and he promised to change. Since then, he's made efforts to do the little things he used to and tried to make me feel special.
It's been a month since that big fight, and we had another argument recently. Although it was over something silly, and I admitted it was my fault, things escalated unnecessarily. He ignored my messages and calls, leaving me feeling lost and confused. I had already expressed how his lack of effort to resolve issues affected my self-respect, and yet, here we are again. While we've been loyal to each other and consider each other best friends, his unwillingness to reconcile even over a minor disagreement leaves me uncertain about what to do next.