From the male perspective đź“–


50 comments

  1. “I love you, but I can’t think about you every minute. ” Men gotta work.

  2. Being an ass doesn’t fix anything even if it makes you feel like you’re “getting even” in the moment.

  3. Marriage is not a happy end.

    It is hard work, and you need to keep working on your relationship.

  4. The phrase “Happy wife, happy life” is a load of shite. There are two people in a marriage and both deserve equal respect.

    I am lucky with my wife, but I have a friend who is constantly miserable trying to get approval from the miserable old bag he married.

  5. It’s not anyone’s job to make you fucking happy. If you have a good partner and you’re unhappy, that’s a you issue, not a partner issue. There are so many people (and especially women) out there bouncing from “failed relationship” to failed relationship without ever noticing that the common factor in all their life’s failures is them.

  6. The emotional labor of being “the rock” in a relationship is, almost by definition, completely invisible and is taken for granted.

  7. Sometimes it is your fault

    Women and men communicate differently, you’re as bad at communicating as he is. You have to meet him in the middle with communication

    Your female friends give bad relationship advice

    Men need to feel wanted too

    You can’t fix him

  8. Anger is an as valid emotion as sadness. We express anger in very different ways.

  10. 1. One person can’t be responsible for saying sorry and working to fix things. It takes both of you.

    2. Retaliation makes things worse and instantly destroys any point you were trying to make

    3. Don’t get fat because there is nothing less attractive than a woman who hates her own body and cuts off sex because of it.

  11. That guys expect you to stay the same as to who you were before you got married. Don’t do the ol’ bait and switch.

    If a guy shares his insecurities or vulnerabilities with you it’s not to be used as a weapon against him during an argument.

  12. You’re not trying to win the argument, you’re trying to find common ground. When someone wins, someone loses, and if someone on your team lost, the team lost.

  13. Just because he’ll fuck you doesn’t mean he wants a relationship with you. 

  14. Marriage isn’t all about sex. But it also isn’t not about sex.

    Very few guys are interested in being celibate. If the sex in the marriage is gone, they are going to be really, really unhappy.

    If you really think that the marriage isnt about sex, that’s fine, but then it follows that spouses shouldn’t need to keep sex within the marriage.

    Obviously, this applies both ways. There are plenty of wives who are miserable because their husband has no interest in them. But it seems to be much more common on one side than the other.

  15. For me as male perspective, here are some hard truths: Men need emotional space just like women need support, and communication involves both talking and listening. Respect in a relationship must be actively earned and maintained, not taken for granted. Men aren’t mind readers, so clear communication is crucial, and love is best expressed through consistent actions rather than just words.

  16. Monogamy has 2 parts.

    Everyone understands that it means you’re only intimate with one person…

    …but the other aspect is that you need to actually be intimate with that person, otherwise you’re just enforcing celibacy on someone else.

  18. Don’t destroy and tear your family apart just because you and your husband may be temporarily going through a financial struggle. You and/or your kids will suffer from such emotional irrational decisions and they may grow up to secretly resent you. You don’t want them to grow up and need to seek therapy because of the trauma you put them through of unnecessarily destroying your family. The temptation to destroy your family over your emotions will be strong, and some of your friends may encourage you to do it because they think the grass is greener, but you can overcome it. Acting on that temptation is more evil than what words can even describe.

  19. At some point, you can make divorce worth it for us. We’re willing to let it all go to shit rather than put up with your crap.

  20. Maybe I think too much with my penis, but I can put up with a lot of crap so long as there is regular sex and I’m not being egregiously abused

    My ex messed up on both of those fronts – she rarely was interested in sex and increasingly abused me physically and emotionally the longer we were married.

  21. Your approach of taking all the dirty laundry with a HEAVY spin to your friends for approval doesn’t work in the house. I was there. I know how it went down. It’s not how you’re telling it.

  22. Silent treatment is emotional abuse. If he’s done something that bothers you, talk to him and don’t expect him to know what’s wrong.

    Apologies are not a sign of weakness but a sign of respect for your husband and remorse for the hurt you have caused.

  23. Not to go telling your friends and family every time there is a conversation or argument that you didn’t like… it creates resistance on the relationship, which the majority of the time is unrecoverable from.

  24. You don’t ” deserve ” a happy marriage, you build and work a happy marriage.
    Raising children doesn’t make you a amazing wife, it makes you an amazing mom.

  25. Stop expecting us to **always** take the initiative. We don’t exist to entertain you. I don’t mind being the leader in a relationship, but there’s a difference in leading vs indentured servitude. Plan a date every now and then, have an opinion on dinner, make a decision every now and then. That kind of thing helps more than you know.

  26. Do not marry someone unless you’re compatible. Not everyone is compatible with everyone else and if you try to force it the end result will likely not be good. I have a few buddies who don’t get along with their wives and it’s pretty obvious they shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place.

  30. Just because I want to go do something on my own, after the kids are in bed, doesn’t mean that I 1) hate you, 2) don’t want to be around you, or 3) am upset about something. I just want to go do something that I know you don’t like to do and have some alone time to relax.

  31. Getting married doesn’t mean you stop trying all the sudden. Thats when you try even harder.

  33. talking to your friends or coworkers about intimate details is both a violation of trust and emotional cheating

  35. You probably need to be taking your boyfriend’s/husband’s emotions more seriously

  36. It’s not just happily and forever after. We’ll fight, argue and disagree but that’s all fine as long as we work through them.

  38. That not every situation calls for jealous and insecure behavior. I’m going with a long time friend to have a drink and some wings, not some sex party to cheat.

    It’s normal behavior for both parties to do things on their own sometimes. Each party deserves to have their own social life apart from the marriage, as long as it is within reason.

  39. This goes for men as well.

    Sometimes, the kindest thing you can do for everyone involved is to talk openly about the sunk cost fallacy. A relationship ending doesn’t make anyone a failure, and if anyone is in the position of accepting things they wouldn’t in any other situation, it’s time to go.

  40. If you dont Use your god damn words to communicate instead of hints, youre making the relationship harder than it should be.

    When my wife and i first started living together i would go out often. Whenever i asked if it was ok, she would give me the dreaded “do whatever you want”. But i never cared for “read mah mind” so i actually went out. I would come back and she would be pissed. Then she tried the usual fight but i would stop her inmediately and told her “you told me to do whatever i wanted. Thats exactly what i did. Next time pick your words correctly cause i take what you say at face value, i dont read minds.”

    4-5 instances later she finally said “you know what, dont go out today cause youve been going out too often.” And just like magic, our relationship improved a lot cause she finally started saying what she meant instead of dropping hints like a teenager.

  41. Stop listening to Relationship advice on Tiktok, Youtube, and Instagram. Find a Woman with a long stable relationship and ask them.

  42. Getting into a relationship or getting married isn’t “mission accomplished”

  43. Your single female friends are absolutely NOT the ones you should be going to for relationship advice.

  44. We are sexual before marriage, sexual during marriage, and sexual after marriage !!

  45. Understanding that yes you’re married but you are still individual people

  46. My thoughts –

    1. It’s much better to build a life together with your husbands than wait for a Prince Charming who has it all ready made or available and then hope for him to choose you.

    2. Choose each other every day. Don’t indulge nor tolerate even casual disrespect to your partner regarding their bodies or intimate relationships. Goes for both.

    3. Maintain sanctity of your marriage. You only have each other for the rest of your lives. Goes for both.

    4. Don’t gossip about the emotional nor financial conversations with friends, nor colleagues and ask your spouse if you can share your decisions and thoughts with parents for their wisdom and guidance. Goes for both.

    5. If you are facing problems seek a professional therapist. Posting on Reddit isn’t the way. Perhaps it may give you satisfaction of being right but won’t solve your problem. Goes for both.

    6. Let no exes nor ‘gay friends’ comment on your marriage or relationship. The ‘you deserve better’ and fake sympathies are nauseating and frankly, disrespectful to your spouse. Goes for both.

    7. If you want out, say it clearly. Don’t commit adultery for the sake of it. Remember your spouse is a human being too.

    Have the courage and the decency to kill your relationship and bond with them first. Goes for both.

    8. When you discuss your pre-relationship or marriage, ensure you are on the same page on family & financial planning and right down to the chores.

    9. Be considerate of each other. Your spouse will have a bad day or say stupid and often really hurtful things.

    Wait for them to calm and then discuss like adults. Remember that physical violence is a definite no by either and shouldn’t at all be tolerated.

    10. Maintain your distance from attractive colleagues or friends for the sake of your relationships and marriages.

    I know about the temptation especially when that person gives you attention ‘which you’ve never felt’ etc etc.

    Don’t be stupid.

    11. Both should know how to take care of themselves and their house. Like with cooking, laundry etc. Help each other out.

    Life isn’t always affordable and house help is just too expensive and even risky.

    12. Maintain that romance, camaraderie, and genuinity in your marriages and relationship.

    Once that is lost, its game over.

    13. Respect each others often differing views. See the person and partner beneath. Goes for both.

    14. Have couple time every single day. Not just sex but intimacy which often is taken for granted.

    Cuddle naked for all I care but maintain your connection with your spouse.

    15. Keep in mind that ’till death do us part’ type of marriages take hard work, mutual respect, intimacy, open conversations, kindness, empathy, romance, and determination.

    This isn’t easy but nothing is more worthwhile.

    Take care of each other. Be there for each other.

    May the Almighty bless every couple with happiness and prosperity.

  47. KNOW what is actually important to you in a partner and a relationship and go get it! Be unapologetic about it! 

    Saying and showing what you are genuinely attracted to doesn’t make you less feminine and fuck what your friends or family thinks.

    Do you want a strong-fat weightlifter who’ll play bass in your Green Day cover band? GO GET HIM

    Do you want a skinny Russian who builds model airplanes and makes great omelets on the weekends? GO GET HIM

    Do you want a cool surfer dude who will catch a wave with you and will go to Lollapalooza with you every year? GO GET HIM 

    BUT JUST REMEMBER 

    Finding the right partner that has what you want and also wants you? That’s going to take a sacrifice of either time and/or personal growth. Learn how to be patient, keep your eyes on the prize (because your future man is a prize too!)

  48. Adding more responsibilities: kids for example will not fix YOUR relationship’s problems.

  49. I think marriages work when the spouses are each other’s backup battery packs, they recharge each other when depleted to go out and face the cruel, unjust and relentless world. If they drain you for whatever reason, either she needs to change or you do. It’s not always the other’s fault, sometimes it’s you.

    Also, it makes it a lot easier, perhaps imperative, that you share the same or at least similar value system e. g. religion or political view, parenting style to financial behavior etc.

    From a male perspective, if what I’m seeing on YouTube is correct, which is a big if with their contrived curated algorithm, the current women seem to be lost in how to be a spouse and a partner in marriage. A wise and faithful woman is a jewel to her husband.

    Good luck to both men and women out there.

  50. That the saying “Happy Wife, Happy Life” is false ideology. The real saying should be “Happy Spouse, Happy House.” We’re in this together and should never be one sided.

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