So long story short I’m back with my ex-husband. Before we split he said some negative things about my body that made me self conscious. The highlights being that I’m overweight and tend to get extra lubricaded when aroused and he didn’t like that.
Even before we split I didn’t let him go down on me much because I was embarrassed and hated the way I looked. (Yes I’ve worked on that a lot and continue to work on it. I dropped over 60lbs in the past year)
After we split and divorced (it was a whopping 7 months apart total) I’m absolutely terrified of the thought of anyone going down on me. I slept with a few other people during the split and even them I didn’t want to let go down on me, I did one of the guys who I dated for most of that time, but again the wetness made a mess and I was mortified.
Is this something I just have to explain isn’t for me anymore? It’s not that I hate the actual feeling, it’s that I can’t get out of my own head. I don’t know what to do 🙁
3 comments
Yes, if you don’t like it, just say no. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, period.
Many guys enjoy doing it for their own pleasure as well as yours. And because of that if they want to do it it usually means they know exactly how wet it’s going to get and also do not care what it looks like. If you can keep that in mind maybe you can enjoy it.
I understand. I didn’t like it for years either. Too much pressure. Then I just sorta stopped thinking too much and relaxed. It might help to dirty talk him while he’s doing it about what you like. Focus on what feels good not what you think is supposed to happen on a timeline. Communicate about it, this always improves sex.