Im looking to the future and I think I'll have kids at this age range. It sounds okay but I will be 50 when my child will be 17, and idk, that makes me feel sad and that I wished I had a kid younger.

Is this a reality or am i overthinking?


33 comments

  1. My dad had me when he was 41. I lost him before he turned 60. But what are you going to do, by the time we have enough resources in our society to reproduce, we aren’t healthy enough to reproduce.

  2. Hell no. Haha. My life was such a damn wreck in my 20s… I was barely ready at 33, I’m 39 now and she’s almost 6. Feels like the perfect age.

  4. Technically it was 2 months before 33.

    I kind of do because we kind of want another one now, but my wife and I don’t have the energy to raise another baby, so we’re one and done.

    It’s a great age to become a parent, but if I knew how much I was going to love parenthood I would have started sooner and made a few different financial choices.

    Oh well, life is good.

  5. So different perspective- my parents both had me when they were in their early 40s. I think it was okay, but I do remember them complaining about being tired a lot growing up (which to be fair is probably true for most parents lol), but I do appreciate they were in a more stable place, emotionally and financially. They both were more emotionally mature than some of the parents of my classmates and I appreciated that mature perspective many times. I do think there were sometimes some “generational gaps” so to speak between my parents advice and maybe the advice of some of my classmates’ parents, i.e. more old-school and occasionally a bit out of touch? I also got a lot of privileges that my much older siblings didn’t have because of their accrued financial security. Now that I’m a bit older, they’re retired and.. well.. over the hill.. I’m sad that my older siblings got experience my parents for more of their lives and I face the reality that I will be younger when my parents die in comparison to my older siblings. That makes me sad, but that’s the reality. I think if you asked my parents, they would never say they regretted having me, but they probably would also say it was honestly hard at times. I can’t tell you what to do, but I did want to offer a bit of perspective from the “other side”.

  6. Had more energy and was in better physical shape in my 20s, but I’m far more financially secure and mature in my late 30s.

  7. I see it the opposite way. When your kids become your everything, you find that you age with them. It keeps you feeling young,

    To me, being 50 with a 16 year old daughter, I feel just as young as her friends’ parents that are 44.

    When you have a kid at 22, and the kid is 13, you don’t want to be the 35 year-old hanging with 48 year olds. Ya know?

  8. Only if it meant having more kids, which in my case, it wouldn’t have anyway.

    50 isn’t that old, especially if you take decent care of yourself.

  9. Fuck no. I was 38 when I had a kid. Any sooner than that would have been a disaster. I observe 4 things:

    1. You can die at any time. Having kids sooner or later doesn’t fundamentally buy you more time.

    2. Having kids later probably does buy them a higher quality of life. Kids hold us back, so the more money you can accumulate and career progress you can make before they arrive, the more you can give them. There will be drawbacks, but my kid’s college money was in the bank before before I ever blew that life-altering load.

    3. 50 ain’t what it used to be. Take care of yourself.

    4. You’ll hear 40-ish year old people with kids say “I could never keep up with toddler at my age.” No, bro. You’re not too exhausted for kids because you’re 40. You’re exhausted at 40 *because* of the kids. They’re little vampires. They suck the life force out of you and carry it into the next generation. There’s a reason all your childless friends look 10 years younger than you. They’re sleeping and relaxing.

  10. Had my first kid at 37, second at 42. There’s nothing I regret about it or the things I did before having them.

  11. Definitely not! Had my first kid at 34 and second at 38. My wife and I were able to travel and have a blast before we had kids because we waited. Our finances were also in much better shape than they were in our late 20s, which makes having kids much easier.

  12. You’re overthinking. You’ll be so much better established in your mid 30s, and your brain will be able to better cope with the challenges and curveballs that having a kid will throw you. If you want a kid, any time is a good time, and you don’t have to worry about being too old.

  13. Hell no. Honestly wish I had waited and enjoyed DINK life a little longer, but I also suspect I would think that no matter how long I waited, ha.

  15. YES. so many times over yes.

    Especially since my job was Avery physical and has such a high injury rate that you have to get specific legal and medical insurance. So now I’m 40 and have two kids, I’m fricking broken and so tired all the time

  16. Had mine at 33, and yeah, I definitely do. My cousin had his in his early twenties and has all the energy now to play football and whatever else with his kids and im here with a 2 year old and a crippling energy drink addiction to have the energy after work and the gym to throw him around like he enjoys.

  18. Nope. Plenty of time to travel and live it up when I was younger, now my kid keeps me young. So many adventures ahead, and I make more money now too.

  19. Nope! It took me a while to see what I wanted to do with my career: acting, politics, music. I got to experiment pretty freely during my twenties and some of my thirties. And now I’m a much more financially stable and complete human, that is WAY more equipped to be a dad.

  20. Both have their advantages and disadvantages. You are going to have hard times and good times. But the good times are amazing, don’t worry about being a bit older

  21. 100% but it took a long time to have my daughter so I didn’t have much choice. My age is the only regret I have about having her.

  22. No. I would have been a substantially worse as a dad if I were in the 20’s. Now that I’m in my mid 50’s with teenagers I can handle the crazy that much better.

  24. No. I wasn’t in as good of a financial situation and wouldn’t have been able to provide as much for my family. Plus everyone is very happy now, so why look back?

  25. Hey OP. I became a father at 38 then 41. I’ll be about 60 when my youngest graduates university.

    The only thing that’s a challenge for me is the drop in energy that naturally happens after 40 – but it’s a motivator to stay fit and (in my case) give up things like drinking.

    I admit I do often think about this, but hand in heart I have no regrets. Both my wife and I are similar ages and have completely established our careers before we had kids. Our finances are really solid and we can give our kids a massively stable home life that we wouldn’t have been able to do so in our 20s/early 30s – we were working long hours and working away regularly then. Now I’ve written this, I think I may have regretted having kids earlier in my life!

    If I had my time over, had met my wife earlier in my life and had enough money not to have to focus on career development, I’d have probably had kids earlier in my life… but I didn’t and I have two healthy kids and an exciting future.

    All the very best from Newcastle Upon Tyne, UK

  26. Had kids at 31 and 34. That is when i was financially secure and emotionally mature enough to have children. The downside is clearly the physical limitations that become evident when your kids want to play endless amounts of games that require chasing etc. I’m in better shape than your average 40 year old and it’s still tough

  27. I was 32 when I was became a dad. I was pretty selfish and I liked to party before. Becoming a dad was the wake up call I had been waiting for and a complete paradigm shift in my world view. I love it. As they get older I worry a small amount about my age but not often. I’m totally happy with my choice and I feel like I was mature at this point to really embrace fatherhood. Some of my friends around me got an even slower start. I wouldn’t want to be in my early 40’s changing diapers or chasing around a toddler much less two. That’s just me personally though.

  28. I had at 37 and wished I had him few years later. It does not change the big picture though. In my 20s I was absolutely not ready mentally and financiallyz

  29. I was 36. There were times in the first few years I really felt were hard physically, as in constant carrying around an infant/toddler was physically exhausting and the lack of sleep was draining.

    I was perhaps more mentally prepared at 36+ and wasnt worried about missing out on some exciting single life or anything by spending all weekend with my kid

  30. Im on my 3rd and kid 30s. We took a few years between 2 and 3. Huge decline in my ability to tolerate sleep deprivation, etc. for sure

    Wish we would have just gotten to #3 earlier.

  31. No. We had our first child when I was 34, midway through a PhD program. Thankfully, my wife had a good job. My 20s were fun and allowed me to develop as a person in ways that just don’t happen when you have kids. I’m 40 now and in good shape. I play with kids regularly and coach their sports teams. It’s a little sad to think I might miss out on some of their later adulthood or my grandkids, but I wouldn’t change a thing.

  32. The only reason I would have started earlier was to have more kids. My wife was 34 when my son was born and after PPD and health issues she did not want to have another and be caring for a toddler at the age of 40. Also, just know that women’s minds change. We were sure we’d have 2 before we got married but she didn’t want another after that. 

    But besides that I have no regrets. I’m at a good mature age, am financially secure, and am setup in my career. Our retirement savings are healthy, and we can afford for my wife to stay home and for my son to go to private school. I also have time to exercise and stay healthy so I feel relatively young at the age of 38. 

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