My boyfriend & I have been dating since 8th grade (2016). I’m not going to get into how our relationship was in high school but it was a little off & on. But the love was ALWAYS there. We would take short breaks and he would date other girls which hurt me a lot at the time (because I never dated anyone on our breaks I was so sick to my stomach & depressed lol). But as I’ve gotten older I forgave him & I give him a lot of grace for it. I mean, we were each other’s first relationship & first everything. So I can’t blame him for wanting to explore to see what’s out there since we were so young. Plus, we’re still each other’s first & only.
This year in November we make 8 years. Our senior year (2021) was the last time we got together from a break and never had a break after that. Shortly after graduating in early 2022 we started living together. In my opinion, our relationship is going great. I love his family & he loves mine. Obviously we have arguments & days where we can’t stand each other- which is normal I suppose. We both have things we need to work on and communication is way better. But overall after living together for nearly 3 years we’ve gotten to know each other on a much deeper level and it has brought us closer. Our relationship is stronger than it ever has been.
My question is…When is the right age or time to start thinking about marriage? It’s been on my mind a lot this year and I’ve voiced to him that I’m ready & we’re not on the same page. He feels as if we’re too young & he actually doesn’t know when he wants to marry me. It’s just not on his mind or a priority. Which, I understand & agree to a certain extent. But I at least want him to propose soon… like really soon lol. I don’t really care how long we’re engaged for & we honestly don’t have to get married until we’re both on the same page. I just want to move to that next step of being a fiancé. But he doesn’t agree. He feels as if he’s not ready to propose either. I’m not going to force him to want to propose to me, because I want it to be genuine. But me personally, dating to marry is my goal. I feel like if that’s not his goal (well at least right now) then what are we doing.
But this has been on my mind for months and I just wanted raw, honest opinions & advice.
TL;DR
21F & 21M dating for 4 years on and off. 3 years no breaks and living together. Is marriage too early to consider?