Not sure if this is the right place to post. I. ((23F) have been dating my boyfriend 23M for two years. I love him very much, but the relationship hasn’t been good for a while now. We did long distance for a year and during that time he got used to me doing everything (he was the busy one during the year so I’d always travel to him and plan our hangouts/calls). We recently moved to the same city and before moving, I had expressed that I wanted things to change. I was fine with taking on the mental load and the brunt of the relationship because I knew he was busy, but I am starting grad school now and he has free time so now I need so now I need him to step up.
It’s been a month and nothing has changed. I asked to go on date because we haven’t been on one in six months and he only planned one after I talked to him a couple times. I talked about us working out together like we used to and he’s made no effort to get a membership even though he says he wants to. Ive been trying to quit nicotine and he said he’d join me but he hasn’t made changes so I’ve consistently been going back to nicotine after quitting cause it’s always there. And if I don’t initiate or plan calls, they don’t happen. For example we’vebarely talked to each other in two days because I was busy working so I didn’t have time to plan a call and he didn’t bother texting or initiating anything.
I love him very much because when we are together, things are good, but I miss the thoughtful person he used to be when we’re apart. When we first met, he put a ton of effort and went out of his way to do things that were nice like send random snack packages and stuff like that. He still does stuff occasionally, but it’s never consistent. Is there anything I can do at this point? I’ve talked to him 3 times now with no change and I feel like my relationship is dying. Part of me just wants to end it so I’ll have less stress for grad school and be free. But part of me also loves him very dearly and doesn’t wanna let him go. I’m just feeling very lost and maybe someone has some insight.
TLDR: relationship not working. What can I do?