I have spent my life being the caregiver and the listener to all my « friends » and family members. I have been the one uplifting, giving love and confidence to the people around me. That was my way of giving and being a loyal, loving friend. As time passes, I have realized that most people only wanted me there when they needed me to feel better and to take what I had to offer, but on the rare occasions that I was in need of « company » , not even in need of venting or efforts to feel better, just some company, most people weren’t there at all. I have 3 young kids today, my husband is the same, he loved me for how I made him feel about himself and how I would do everything in my power just to see him smile. Once life got tough, everyone turned their back on me. My own mother only cares to be around when she is depressed and in need of venting and some good positive advice.
I have re connected with an old friend, and she kept saying how much she loves me and feels so blessed to have me back in her life, however, she only sees me when she feels like it, we make plans that she cancels last minute, am in no way pushy or demanding, but it’s been rough for me lately, and I don’t speak about my feelings to anyone (my own husband and mom don’t care so who would?) , but the few times I « mention » not being well and needing to be out a bit to have a good time and come back stronger, I find no one around. It’s hurting me a lot, especially that I rarely reach out to others. I am so sad and lonely. Is this supposed to be life?