I am seeing a new guy and sex between us is weird. It doesn’t flow. The first time we engaged in the act, we just did oral, but I told him that I wanted to do more (penetrative sex). We eventually did it but… it wasn’t good. He told me that he doesn’t have a lot of experience.
Lately, it’s been most of the same. We kiss, rub on each other, I give him oral sex and he kind of moves on and I brought it to his attention. He said that I need to communicate when I want to have sex/ when I want more, but I’m not used to doing that. I thought most people just “knew” to flow into it. I’ve just never dated a guy that had to be told “let’s have full on sex” because the past guys I’ve dealt with, we just kinda flowed into it. I’m just getting a bit frustrated because I did tell him before “When we do oral, just expect for us to do the whole thing” but then he says “I need to communicate” so I’m at a crossroads here. How should I phrase it or communicate this to him?
Idk if he needs me to verbally say it all the time because maybe in his mind it’s a consent thing, or maybe he’s hiding behind the fact that he’s just not good at it, idk. I’m trying not to let it bother me, but sometimes I do feel a bit used when I give him oral and we don’t do more. It’s kind of like I’m pleasuring him with nothing in return…It is very hard to because I left a relationship with someone where the sex was great (but the relationship was not) so the adjustment is hard right now.