I’m trying to be really sensitive about this which is why I’m posting here instead of just talking to him. I (24F) have been with my boyfriend (25M) for 2 years now and we are pretty sexually compatible. Both of us are high libido and the sex is easily the best I’ve ever had in my life. I’ve had multiple other partners but the only one that has been around for this long is my ex who I was with for five years, who had a pretty severe porn addiction. Our sex life was so fucked up that I basically feel like it’s not even remotely comparable and I shouldn’t look at what happened there to figure out what I should expect in a long term relationship at all.
Long story short, I feel like I’ve noticed my bf is less turned on just by hanging out or seeing me naked or even when I initiate. I’ve also noticed generally he gets less hard. For example we shower together a lot. He used to always get a little turned on (or a lot) every time. Now it’s like once a month. We still have a lot of sex (mostly every day sometimes multiple times a day) but idk it just takes a bit more for him to physically get going.
This has made me sort of insecure. I can still get turned on just by seeing him. Another issue is that I initiate a lot when I see that he’s hard. Sometimes it’s bc he’s actually horny but a lot of the time it’s morning wood. When he’s not randomly hard as much, I don’t initiate as much. It’s not on purpose, I just think it’s hot. To be clear I still initiate a lot, probably 50-60% of the time, but it’s just less than I used to.
Haven’t talked to him about it because I know that our bodies don’t always do what we want them to do. I don’t know if it’s that or if I’m just like old news at this point. I don’t think it’s porn, we have an agreement not to watch it because of my past and I don’t think he’d lie about it. I don’t think I’m less attractive than I was two years ago, I’ve lost weight and I don’t think he cares about weight anyway (unless he preferred me before which is possible). It’s sort of becoming a self fulfilling prophecy because I am more insecure and therefore we have less sex which I’m sure isn’t good. Idk I understand this stuff is complicated and I’m just looking for some insight before I say something wrong.