Feeling pain and no pleasure during sex, how to solve?

6 comments

1. It’s frustrating when doctors can’t find anything wrong but you know something’s not right. Have you considered seeing a specialist, like a gynecologist or a pelvic pain specialist?

   They might have more insight or be able to run more specific tests. It’s also worth bringing up the issue with your doctor again, as sometimes symptoms can change or worsen over time. Don’t give up on finding answers and getting the help you need.

2. It may be vaginusmus. The condition is caused by involuntary muscle spasms. It’s often difficult to diagnose because there are no anatomical changes.

3. Get a better kind of lube. Trust!

4. I’m wondering if you might have cervical cysts. They’re harmless… But I noticed a difference during sex after a while and when I had my gyno appt she said she felt cysts. I also sometimes had a little blood after sex, which I believe the cysts popping probably caused.

   Also, and this is kinda weird but… Have you been constipated lately? I had lower pelvic pressure, so much so that I had a CT done. Turns out my colon was distended from waste and was putting pressure on my bladder and in that entire area, which also made sex uncomfortable.

   But definitely find a doctor to get to the bottom of it, because that’s not ok.

5. Not much to go on here. Has anything else changed about your sex life since then? A new source of stress at work? A sick family member? A new partner, toys, or new positions? Maybe you’ve started having “quickies”?

   You say it’s inside near the cervix and it’s not about arousal, but there’s more to arousal than lubrication. In later arousal the vaginal muscles relax and even expand a little to accommodate penetration. If you’re not at that level of physical arousal you might feel super horny and wet and ready to have sex and still experience pain on deeper penetration. It would also explain why everything looks normal to your doctors.

   I’ve also heard ovarian cysts described similarly, an internal pain in the lower stomach. Those would show up on internal scans but might not be obvious to a pelvic exam at the GPs office.

6. I’m really sorry you’re dealing with this. Honestly, it could be quite a number of things. When I had this issue I also went to the gyno and she said nothing was wrong (though honestly she didn’t try very hard and I got discouraged; definitely push to find out more, you’re entitled to take care of your health!). The pain felt almost like cramping and could last for days. I found out, for me, it was likely an emotional issue. At the time I was in denial about my relationship and my body was rejecting my partner, when mentally I wasn’t ready to. However, I realized this was the problem because using toys *on my own* caused no pain, so it was clearly not physical. If you find that using toys on your own causes you no pain, that could be the case – or maybe your new partner is simply being too rough. You also say sex isn’t pleasurable at all. Is that the whole act of piv (insertion, as well)? Isolating where and what is hurting, aside from the cervix pain, when it used to be pleasurable might help identify possible issues.

   If that’s not the case and it’s definitely physical, it could be several things: ovarian, uterine, or cervical cysts; even endometriosis if your periods are very painful, or pcos, *but* those should have other symptoms to accompany the sexual pain; any of that a good gynecologist should help you diagnose, though it might require a physical exam and/or ultrasound. Even ibs or constipation as another person mentioned could be causing issues. There’s something called “referred pain”: where the pain you feel is originating elsewhere from the spot you think it is.