Sorry for the paragraph but please read. So like I got introduced to her through a mate at college. I tried to text her more but it didn’t go anywhere and she left me on delivered for like 2 weeks. Ididn’t really talk to her that much until one day when a mutual mate said that he’s gonna get us together. She heard that and texted me and apologised for them and we joked about it. And then after that we started texting a lot more and then it went to everyday.
So I made my move and asked her on a date and she said yes. So we talked everyday and flirted and stuff. Met up with her a few times and we sat together and I put my arm around her and we would playfully push each other and hug and stuff. She put her legs on me and would be real close and like I was feeling good cos like it was real different compared to before when I didn’t really talk to her. So we hugged a few times and would lay arcades and have a real good time. Then came the date where we played mini golf and were joking and laughing and then we went to a photo booth and took photos together like the printable ones in which we kissed in the Photo Booth and I had my arm around her. We went and sat down at the beach and we kissed again and we held hands and she hugged me and put her head on my shoulder and I wrapped my arms around her waist. I walked her to the train station holding hands and we were planning the next date and I kissed her again before she left.
We texted later on and then the next day she asked to talk to me and said she wasn’t ready for anything yet cos of this thing with another guy and work and stuff. So I understood and explained what I wanted and she said that she don’t mind going on dates and stuff still but then she ghosted me one day after I fucked up a bit and sent a vn which stupidly was assuming how she felt, which led her to panic and ghost me cos she weren’t ready. So I was upset and shit cos it was pretty selfish and she ghosted me and like I didn’t get why.
A month maybe later she texts me yesterday asking if I’m ok cos she talked to the mutual mate. I left her on read for a bit and then we talked and I explained it hurt what she done and she said she was sorry and justified what I said earlier about ghosting cos she panicked and cos of the vn too. Like I asked if it meant anything and if I did and she said yeah she just isn’t ready for all that yet and panicked. So I apologised for how the vn came across and she said it’s ok and that the whole thing got blown out of proportion. Being honest I’m stuck cos I keep thinking of the kissing and stuff and I wanna date her and I like her still and it’s difficult
Basically a friend who I didn’t tell to look at what she reposted btw, saw that she reposted them kind of videos of people in a relationship and you think oh I want that with somebody. I guess she does want a relationship but just not with me which really sucks but then again I could be wrong but I don’t know. I don’t get it I guess because I was really the only good guy that she’s done all that stuff with yet she threw me away. Maybe it was because she thinks she can do better or it’s just because of my personality and how I’m different. Or I fucked it up myself, but maybe she’ll realise right, like realise how I was different and if she wants that again because she’s mostly gone for assholes. But I don’t know, probably sound stupid but honestly finding the waves of being okay and then not difficult. Especially in the mornings.