Women of reddit who are lonely, why do you feel lonely?

23 comments

  1. Because I’ve always had difficulty relating to anyone (and people have always had difficulty relating to me), so genuine, deeper connections have been hard to come by. And now, in my 30s, it feels impossible to find anyone to connect with, with how closed off everyone is.

  2. I felt lonely when I first moved to this country, biggest reason I felt lonely was because I didn’t have any friends who shared my interests, just friends who were friends

    After attending events and meetups via Facebook, I now have more friends than I know what to do with and am no longer lonely

    I highly HIGHLY recommend using Facebook Events to find people who share your interests in your town/city/whatever

  3. I don’t have the energy to interact with people, so I push everyone away. I have almost completely isolated myself. 90% of the time I am fine with it. 10% of the time I feel lonely.

  5. I left my husband one year ago.

    we have done an on/off, therapy/quit, divorce/pause, thing the last year. I wanted him and our family more than anything.

    and he didn’t.

    so i’ve had to learn to be alone (kids/not kids),

    but alone doesn’t always equal lonely?

    but when lonely hits

    I don’t know what to do with it.

  6. Significant romantic, friendship, and familial related trauma. I can’t trust that anyone actually cares about me, so I keep things very surface level. This has led to hurt feelings, but I’d rather be alone than be a fool again.

  7. I grew up not learning how to relate to people because I was impatient and lack empathy. I never had a group of girl friends to share emotions and do things.

    I keep begging to be in friend groups when they most likely don’t want to associate with me. I’m neurodivergent, so that would be the issue. As I get older, it’s harder to make friends because everyone has their own things going in life.

  8. Because I’ve been made fun of my whole life bc of my size so I’m scared of getting close to people. Anytime someone does something wrong to me I feel like the reason is bc of my size. Sometimes I’m scared of being annoying so I keep to myself. I’m never anyone’s first priority.

  9. I’ve felt something has been missing from my life! I can’t put my fingers on it! But when it’s the strongest I feel overwhelmed with sadness I’ve been single know for almost 9 years it’s gets that bad I get lonely

  10. I left all my friends to move to another country to be with my abusive spouse (I was in denial until recently). Now being 30 and trying to navigate ending my abusive marriage is hard. Making friends as an adult is difficult and it’d be super nice to have reasons to get out of the house and do things I enjoy.

    Separate but also important, I also feel lonely romantically and sexually. I’ve been stuck in a bad situation for years and getting out of it is going to take time. But in the meanwhile, those needs aren’t being fulfilled and it’s a real bummer.

  11. Because I’m “married” but my husband is an OTR truck driver so I’m alone 80% of the time. I have a couple of friends but it’s awkward. My married friends like to do couples things (leaving me as a third wheel) or are busy with their families. My single friends want to go out and do ‘single people things’ which are at times inappropriate for a “married” person.

  13. I have typed out many answers to this question. After seeing them all, I realized none of them were valid. It is because I DO NOT MAKE A SERIOUS EFFORT TO NOT BE LONELY. We can only control our own actions/reactions. Thank you for making me think about this.

  14. I tried to communicate my boundaries with my friend because i realized that i have started to become resentful that i was paying for their meals, driving them, and being a listening ear to them (they can’t handle the stress of my issues). I thought through years, they would make an effort to make out friendship work, but they ended up getting hurt and overwhelmed when i called them and now they ghosted me. And now i feel foolish for even opening my mouth because now i’ve hurt myself with the truth and hurt my friend who never had the capacity for me. 🙃

  15. The love of my life passed away 2 years ago and I have been lonely ever since. 💔

  17. There’s just sometimes usually periods.After I do a social thing where I kind of have this like social hangover. I get very negative and think the good times won’t last and I feel this like soul deep loneliness I can’t really explain it beyond that

  18. I usually connect extremely easily w people, but I have a tendency to put *all* of my effort into relationships with people that I really care about, well before realizing that *they* don’t actually care about me/my friendship anywhere near as much. I am always a doormat. That’s my purpose. And always being everyone’s doormat is a very lonely person to be.

  19. I’m pregnant and in a state with my husband where we have no real friends or family. I no longer work so that bit of socialization is out the window. I miss my best friend that lives 6 hours away. I miss my family.. heck I even miss my in laws. The two friends I’ve made in this new state seem to have no interest in having a friendship outside of texting so whatever it sucks.

  20. I’m pregnant and in a state with my husband where we have no real friends or family. I no longer work so that bit of socialization is out the window. I miss my best friend that lives 6 hours away. I miss my family.. heck I even miss my in laws. The two friends I’ve made in this new state seem to have no interest in having a friendship outside of texting so whatever it sucks.

  22. I’ve come to the conclusion I’m not capable of having anyone get that close to me, or me to be that vulnerable ever again. It actually sends me into a panic attack.

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