Hi!
I’m a 25F and I recently attempted to do my first time with my boyfriend(27F) of 6 months, sadly it ended up in tears and we couldn’t even proceed.
I am very insecure about my body; my boobs aren’t symmetrical, my nipples are brown, my butt isn’t that round, my tummy makes me a lot insecure. My boyfriend obviously finds me pretty with the things that I showed him but I always felt so uncomfortable with my body deep down.
I was terrified of having sex with him too due to the fact that he watched a lot of porn, and his favorite actresses looked like absolute goddesses so his expectations were high.
2 Days ago, we were making out and things went a bit too far. He started removing my shirt, which I didn’t mind in the heat of the moment. But it was when he removed my bra that I become self aware. I softly pushed him away and he obviously asked me "What’s wrong?", which I replied that I wasn’t ready yet.
Then I stared at my bare boobs and panicked at the thought of him actually seeing them right now. And I don’t know what happened to me but as he was still on the bed, I just covered my face with my hands a said "I don’t like my body" and started sobbing.
My boyfriend then comforted me, and made it like it wasn’t a big trouble but I can’t help but feel ashamed in myself. Firstly because my body was so ugly and I was so insecure that I missed out on my first time. I don’t know if I should mention it again or act like nothing happened.