25f I am at a loss right now. I have been in a relationship with the same person for almost 5 years. We bought a house this year together and ever since, things have been extremely difficult. Not that they weren’t difficult before, but adding on homeownership has taken things to another level. I am told on a regular basis that I don’t take care of the house or do things properly.
This is a very minor example of something that has happened (tip of the iceberg). We went on a trip for a few days (1.5 days to be exact..) before we left, I was asked if there was food in a container that was thrown away. I said no, because I ate all of my food. Well, we get home and the garbage smells. I must have had something or food remnants that I didn’t realize were in there. I truly didn’t think there was food in there. My partner was so upset with me when we got back. I asked them to let me take out the trash and deal with it, but my partner took it out and is now telling me I never do anything properly and I don’t take ever take care of the house. I can apologize and it’ll still be thrown back in my face in the future if I fuck up again… it’ll always be that my partner takes care of everything for me. They say it’s because of how I was raised and that I had everything done for me, but I actually grew up taking care of myself with no parents really showing me how to do things. When these things got thrown in my face, I slammed two doors and then was screamed at again saying I don’t take care of the house and “look at what I did” when there’s no damage… but I did slam the door and know that’s wrong and am not proud of it.
I have been trying really hard to control my frustrations but it’s getting harder. I don’t feel like I’m good enough and I honestly wish I wasn’t even alive so that everyone could just move on and be better off because I genuinely feel that I’m causing problems for other people to fix for me even though I am not sure how I do that. I don’t know what to do anymore, especially because we bought this house together. This keeps happening and I’m always in the wrong. I am starting to wonder if I’m not good enough. That I’m not doing enough. I said I would take it out but it was already taken out then thrown back in my face.