Women with anxious attachment style, what has been the biggest realisation?

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1. The thing is when the vibe didn’t really match then u really need to master the art of letting go people even they are the fav ones

2. That there will be people with whom your body can feel calm and safe around most of the time. If you’re not feeling that, it might not be the best match for the moment.

3. That it is all tied to childhood abandonment issues.

4. [removed]

5. It’s worth the wait to find people who are your people instead of hanging onto the ones who trigger your abandonment issues (by abandoning you).

   Even when you find those people, you still need to do the work and heal your codependency to form and maintain healthy relationships.

6. A lot of it has to do with me! Wait, I’m the problem?

   Therapy is very helpful for that.

7. It made me waaaaay too willing to be extra patient with my ex. I waited around in the relationship for him to message me more than once every other day for 7 freaking months 🙃. Just bought up everything he told me about why. 

   I broke up with him earlier this week and I’ll be bringing the patient thing up in therapy because I really really don’t want to do that again. Looking back my actions seem so ridiculous now, but in the moment I truly felt like they made sense and was totally fine with the low low communication. 

   I know I deserve better than that, but I’m worried I’ll end up repeating mistakes again 

8. No amount of overthinking about others will make it better. Attach yourself to yourself. I found myself attached and dependent on others for different things, and it all came crashing down at the end of the day. I learnt my lesson when I felt like I hit rock bottom: no one is worth attaching yourself to; you shouldn’t ever feel like you’re overly attached to anyone. No one is forever, even family. You can have healthy relationships with people/things in your life without being attached to them. I believe, nothing belongs to us in this world, not people, not objects, nothing, so if those things happen to walk out or disappear from your life, then its okay, it did not belong to you anyway.

   Attach yourself to yourself, to your goals, improvements, health, career, religion (if you are of any faith), your mental health, and your money.

   Don’t worry; butterflies will come to you themselves if you focus on building/growing your garden.

9. That what my wounds tell me to be true is rarely true. Just because you feel something doesn’t mean it is logically correct.

   If someone hasn’t texted me back all day, it is 1% likely that they hate me and don’t want to talk to me, and 99% likely that they were busy, that they didn’t check XYZ social media, or a million other totally innocuous reasons. I’ve been trying to break my phone addiction lately, and it means I respond to texts less often. It can be as simple as that.