Today my boyfriend of 6 months told me his douch-ey friend sometimes sends him pictures of girls sleeping that he’s hooked up with. And that these girls are usually nude. I was in utter shock when he told me nonchalantly. His friend is violating these women’s privacy, its fucking disgusting and my bf is basically complicit. My bf says he doesn’t agree with it but he also hasn’t said anything negative about it to his friend. Im pretty sure this is a huge red flag but i need your opinions.I want to go through his phone to check these messages and see how involved he’s been in this gross situation but i dont know his passcode so i don’t know what to do and worry he will lie to me if i bring this issue up.
Tdlr: found out my boyfriends friend sends him pics of naked sleeping women and I dont know how to go about this with my bf.
2 comments
>Im pretty sure this is a huge red flag but i need your opinions
Yes, it is. Your boyfriend should have immediately told his friend off the first time and reported his behavior to the police if possible. Even if he can’t do anything about it legally, the fact that he hasn’t confronted his friend is worrisome.
Personally I would leave if my partner were receiving non-consensual pornographic images and doing absolutely nothing about it. Six months is not very long and you have all the time in the world ahead of you to find a man who doesn’t tolerate and even implicitly encourage another man’s abusive sexual behavior (by not taking action). But that’s just me. I agree; your boyfriend is complicit.
Take the evidence and call the police immediately. This is indicative of deviant urges and this man could possibly go on to commit more serious crimes if he hasn’t already. Your boyfriend is also potentially endangering you if he’s continuing to be friends with this person so you better make sure you are never alone with this guy and don’t ever accept a ride, drinks or food from him. Do the right thing because later down the line if you hear he’s been involved in more serious activities you’ll have on your conscience.
Your boyfriend is also risking being dragged into a criminal investigation if this freak is caught because he’s got the content on his phone and if he doesn’t see anything wrong with it and/or has kept the images he could potentially be facing charges too depending on what view the police take of that and whomever is prosecuting. If the police get a hold of his phone and review conversations between your boyfriend and his friend it could paint a picture for them that could involve your boyfriend legally and then you could also be interviewed as a witness so if I were you I would sit down and have a very stern conversation with your boyfriend because at the end of the day do you seriously want to be involved in a situation like this? Think about both of y’all’s reputations, work and job and study opportunities for the future if this got out aspects of what happened could easily be twisted by people if rumours start so you need to be pretty ruthless here and do the right thing for YOURSELF. Call the police and report it and let them get to this guy first before it gets exposed another way and all of y’all get hauled in when they try to find out who did what and why. Your boyfriends response to this is extremely concerning. Would he complain if his friend took pictures of YOU?. Think about that.