I’m a 30F, and my boyfriend is 29M. We’ve been dating for 11 years, and while things were good initially, we’ve hit some major bumps recently.
In 2021, my father passed away during COVID. My family wanted to meet his, but his mom wasn’t keen on our marriage, so we postponed. We tried to arrange a meeting last October, but just before it, he stopped talking to me for two weeks without explanation. The day of the meeting, he said his mom wanted to clarify some things and I should come to his place before my family arrived. I refused to do that and went with my family instead. His parents were rude and dismissive, which felt humiliating. We broke up briefly but got back together.
Since then, things have been tough. Here’s a rundown:
- He recommended me for a job and asked for a one-month salary as a referral bonus. I started paying him in installments, but he took more money than agreed and kept some of it.
- He began snooping through my phone and even emailed my brother’s chats to himself.
- He checked my bank balance and asked to borrow money for a trip, promising to repay it over six months. He hasn’t returned the money he already owes me.
- His family laid out a list of expectations for the wedding.
- He insisted on splitting finances but broke up with me when I asked him to share wedding expenses. Later, he wanted to reconcile but kept asking for the referral money and the certificate for an expensive ring he’d given me and then demanded back during fights.
Now, he’s asking to get back together, but I’m unsure. We’ve been together for 11 years, but things have been rocky since last October. What should I do?
TL;DR: I’m 30F, and my boyfriend is 29M. After 11 years together, we hit a rough patch last October when his parents were rude during a family meeting. Since then, he’s acted untrustworthy, asking for money, snooping on me, and creating financial issues. He’s now asking to get back together, but I’m unsure. What should I do?