My bf (20) and I (25) have been having sex a few times now. I really enjoy having sex with him because I like connecting with him in a more intimate way, the only problem is that whenever he’s inside me at first it always hurts a lot and the pain is almost too much to handle even though I’ve had sex with him before it always seems to hurt which is strange because we always do foreplay beforehand, I don’t understand why it hurts so much. I would say the pain is a level 5 and sometimes it hurts too much I have to ask my bf not to move or pull out but then after a while he finds a certain angle and it doesn’t hurt anymore.
My bf also likes rough sex, he’s really into it and likes a lot of things that come with the rough sex territory but I’m not that open to it because I’ve had bad experiences with a previous partner. The last times my bf has been rough with me I’ve told him to be careful, we had really rough sex one time and I was getting really scared and I had to use my safe word and tell my bf to stop, I wanted to cry and my bf apologized and said he didn’t mean to hurt me. I told my bf to cool down with the roughness and he said he would. This same day, we were making out a bit after nothing too wild just kissing and so, I wanted to just hug my bf but he thought I wanted to grind on him and he started being rough two to three times again and I didn’t like it but I didn’t tell him anything because I wanted to keep hugging him. I realize most of this is because I don’t always communicate my discomfort and I should express clear boundaries but I had already told my bf I wanted to go slow and be less rough with me and I hate having to remind him all the time. Idk what to do?