My wife (26F) had a threesome a couple times before our marriage. (29M)I've never had a threesome with anyone before and I wasn't ready to settle with anyone until I've had that experience a few times however when I met my wife she was everything I ever wanted in a relationship but I wasn't ready to pop the question until one day we were talking about our fantasies and she said how she love having sexual relationships with other women and she had a threesome i told her that always was one of my fantasies but I told her that I really cherish our relationship and I wouldn't want to do anything to ruin it then she responded with she don't think she can be with me if I don't want to have threesome now before this whole convo I was already contemplating marrying this wonderful woman and when she told me how important having sexual relationships with women is to her this really turned me on and thought she was perfect she checked every box beautiful smart talented loving and matched my sexual energy and I proposed to her a month later now weve been married 5 years and things arent adding up and im very sexual frustrated
We had 1 threesome and an attempted threesome the first threesome we had was relatively ok I felt like a virgin like I didn't really know what to do I couldn't get my dick hard and eventually I got into it I told my wife I'm going to turn the lights on because I that's how I judge my wife if she's enjoying it or not and my wife really was she made sounds I never heard and her body unintentionally moved in ways I've never seen before this really turned me on to the point were I came not in the girl and that made my wife unhappy because she wanted me to come inside her maybe TMI she wanted another threesome again but I felt very uncomfortable I felt like my wife was trying to prove something with this girl and it felt very unnatural and I can't get turned on like that because I can feel her energy. A week after that I was telling her how much I enjoyed seeing her being pleasured by someone else and then she explicitly and very angry told me this will never happen again
After hearing this I felt very shocked and her sexual energy had never been the same since up until a year ago. After she told me this threesome thing will never happen again I felt very confused because it was the first time she didn't even want to have a conversation about it and about how I feel about that. Before we got married every chance she gets she she brings up her bi sexuality and all her female relationships never her male relationships infact she doesn't like talking about those and how she can't wait to make all these memories together and how much she wants to fill my fantasies and how we are so perfect for each other because her last relationship he never wanted a threesome and that was a big deal breaker for her. Now upon till a year ago we moved to a new country because I'm military and we now have 2 kids and I got a vasectomy which is how she alwaysed invisioned her life so do I because I love making her happy.
Even after she told me about the threesome never happening again my wife still flirts with women makes out with them and sometimes I've seen them touch each other lady parts I know my wife lead other women on on social media because sometimes when we're board we like to go through each others phone and laugh at the things we find in there and I will see her talking girls how much she wants to do them and they'll send nudes to each other idk if she ever had sex with another woman without me knowing which would be ok I would just like to know about it but when ever I bring up stuff like that she says it sounds like I'm trying to find an in to have a threesome which is not true the reason she thinks this is because she said when she told me it would never happen again my reaction made her feel like I wanted the threesome more than the relationship so I stop bringing up anything sexual with my wife and our sex life had been pretty vanilla since. we do have great sex but it was better before we use to talk and do a lot of things and I wish it could go back to that.
Now this is the part I wanted advice on I've always feels like I was tricked or the person I thought she was isn't what she convinced me she was in regards to our sex life that is and one of the most attractive things about her was how she was so sexual with me and I felt very unfulfilled to the point I think I needed to go to therapy because I find my self thinking about these things all day and I felt bad about it but recent since we moved here when she's drunk she would tell me things like how she wants a threesome so bad and she's been thinking about it a lot and she can't wait to see me doing all these things aand how she wants to get back to that life style mind you shes the one who brings this up and recently she told me she had a dream she was having a threesome now the first time she confess this to me the next day I wanted to confront her about what she said and tell her I know it's just the heat of the moment but she said no she ment what she said but she just don't want to rush anything.
The problem I'm having now is I'm wondering why is she ok talking about all this but last week we were having sex and Its the first time I brought up the threesome convo while having sex and she got mad at me and said I never want to hear you talk about threesomes unless I bring it up. I'm all for it but why would she do this do you guys think this is fair she's able to tell me all these things that she wants to do but if I bring up the convo she shuts me down and makes me feel bad for it I feel very weird when she talking about threesomes yesterday she wasn't drunk and while we were having sex she ask me if she can watch me have sex with another girl while she play with herself and I feel like it's a trick and I feel very confused like is she only getting off on the thought of it during sex or is this a real thing that might happen? sometimes I feel like I'm getting tricked have anyone been in this situation?and what should I expect or do.