We have been dating for 5 months now, and seeing each other for 4 months beforehand.
He has this habit of looking at the typical OF and porn bait girls on Instagram reels with also very obviously checking out girls in person. Like saying “damn” whenever a girl with big boobs walks past
Him and his friend like to send these girls to eachother and when we first became offical his friend asked if it was still okay to send these things and he said verbatim “ I don’t give a fuck what [OP] thinks”
He showed to it me afterwards laughing like it was a funny joke.
Honestly that really hurt me and it didn’t help that before we started dating things weren’t much different. He’d openly go through tinder when we’d be together and talk about the other girls he wanted to bang, while still saying he really wanted to date me. But that’s all in the past now.
Nowadays it’s just every time I see these girls pop up on his instagram I get so upset and hurt, I can’t help not compare myself to them. He follows his favourite stripper on her public and personal account and who knows what else.
And I know none of this is cheating but it all feels so disloyal to me, like he’s constantly one step away from cheating on me, I can’t help not compare myself to them cos he’s mentioned in the past that my body isn’t his perfect type, even saying when he get rich he will pay for a boob job.
Im so done giving a shit about this and getting constantly upset that I’m not good enough, and why he can’t just have eyes for me.
I’ve tried bringing it up before saying how it’s kinda weird and fucked he does this and my exes never did and my male friends all agree with me, so it’s not just a girl thing.
He said it was normal and my friends and exes r just “fucking weird” and it’s not his fault
I’ve brought up the subject of emotional cheating in regards to this and he told me it sounds like some “stupid made up girl shit”
There’s been other similar things where it feels like he has no regard for my feelings. He still constantly shows me “bear vs man” jokes after I explained it applies to girls like me who have been through traumatic events with a man and I didn’t want to see these memes from him anymore. Even referring to what happened to me as my “little situation”. He doesn’t understand the fear it’s left in me. I had to beg him to promise to not ditch me for a whole night at an upcoming concert in a sketchy area where the audience will be all men
I’m so done with everything, I don’t want to break up but I just can’t keep getting upset over this. I just feel hollow inside, like I don’t care about anything he does now and all I hope for is that his friends would say something if he cheated on me.
I’m not sure if I should bring this up because he said he didn’t care and I’m worried he’ll just be dismissive and defensive again. And I don’t know how to either.
I could also just say nothing but I’m worried things would just drift apart between us.
Either way it seems like a lose lose situation and I don’t know what to do.
How would I address this situation without things falling apart?
Or should I not even bother