We’ve been married more than 20 years and 98% of the time we get along great. But when we do have a disagreement, and my wife and I talk through it and move past it, afterwards I pretty much always feel that it was my fault. Something I did wrong or didn’t do. Something I said wrong or insensitively or didn’t say. Something I forgot.
And I wonder if this gets old for my wife, or if she rolls with it because she loves me and just accepts my shortcomings as part of me and our marriage. She is amazing and I always feel like we snap back to “us being good” pretty quick, and I don’t get a feeling from her of frustration or resentment growing over this topic.
And I don’t want to keep a scorecard of this stuff, but when I think about it, it feels like the fault almost always lies with me. And I just wish that I wasn’t the more difficult partner. I am always working on myself and being mindful of this. But it’s like somehow our disagreements almost always end with me saying to myself “Ahh shoot, she’s right… again…. How can she always be right?” I guess this is a good problem for me (to have such an amazing partner) but still…. Does anyone else here often feel like they are the problem spouse?