Context:
I (F22, INTJ) met this guy (M24, ENTP) during a summer internship. The internship just ended a few days ago. We come from the same university, same faculty, and he’s my senior by a year. We were placed in the same department, same team, just me and him. There were other interns in other teams, same department. There were like two other girls from our department interested in him. I was only interested in getting to know him initially because he was the only other intern on my team, so at the start, I approached him and initiated a few conversations to build rapport and familiarity. I did find him physically attractive since the start, however that is not an enough reason to see someone as more than friends/acquaintances.
Story:
Nothing much happened in the first few weeks as I approached each intern including him once every office day, and I was busy with my solo project. But there were a few instances where whenever we had group lunches, he kept sitting beside me, his leg kept coming in contact with mine during lunch. Soon, finally after my solo project ended, by chance, we sat beside each other because our usual seats have been taken. Then, we had lunch together he kept talking and introduced me to his favourite food.
We have a very interesting dynamic as we always banter and I respond to his nonsensical prompts, I always tell him that he’s full of nonsense, but he always makes me laugh, making me look forward to otherwise a dull working environment. We sometimes had very intense eye contact but I always break it off first after two seconds. That was when I started to see him in a less platonic way and more romantic interest.
We have both mentioned that we are single because our other colleagues always want ‘tea’ about other people’s dating life. He mentioned something along the lines of he had romantic interests before but nothing ever came out of it, meanwhile I mentioned I can’t do online dating because I need physical interactions to build a genuine connection with the person. I know other colleagues always gave us weird looks whenever we banter. Once another two colleagues asked me where he had lunch, they probably think that we are together all of the time.
Suddenly, we were placed together on a few projects by our managers. With one or two of many tasks being asking me to check up on his progress, driving more conversations between us. I’m finally get back my old seat in the office, while he continued sitting there. I did explain to him that I prefer my old seat because it’s more secluded and peaceful. Then, he approached me more to initiate conversations as then I rarely approached him since I was given way too many tasks and had to focus.
We were standing side-by-side in a circle with other interns listening to our big boss talk, he kept standing closer and kept brushing his forearm against mine like more than a dozen times in less than 2 minutes. I pulled away slightly and stood firm to see if I’m swaying or it’s just him. It’s just him, because he continued standing closer.
I think our communication issues started to surface at a Friday night drink in the office. Usually, he doesn’t drink but he finally agreed to drink after another colleague convinced him. I saw another guy friend that is a nice guy and I haven’t met in a long while, so I chatted with him for like 10 mins or so. When I turned back, he looked super duper red and tipsy af. As usual, I teased him and told him his face was as red as someone else’s red glass. He got agitated and told me to shut up. While other colleagues made similar comments and he laughed it off. I could sense a hint of jealousy but I was done with his rudeness so I left the drinks.
We were also at an interns’ night event with other interns. I told him that I want to try the claw machine because it seems fun and hopefully I would win something. He thought it was lame but I saw him started to keep queuing up to play claw machines so I joined him. He finally won a stuff toy after many turns, I couldn’t get anything. He doesn’t want the stuff toy but kept looking at it and at me. Not sure if he wanted to give it to me but it’s awkward because we were with our department’s interns. He kept it in the end. I was talking to another guy intern B in our department, since this is my first time meeting him. He kept silent and didn’t join into the convo whenever this another guy intern B was talking to me. He only started participating when intern B mentioned that he has a girlfriend.
Cons:
Bad Timing, Bad Setting: We met at work so we should maintain a certain level of professionalism, makes it hard to pursue him outside of work. Also, I’m going on a half a year semester exchange in a few weeks, while he’s going for another internship.
Lack of Emotional Intimacy: Sometimes he mentions about feeling mentally checked out, I asked if he’s okay, he always replies with that he’s okay. Most of our conversations are banters so I feel like I don’t know him deep enough.
Texting: I initiated most of the texting. He always replies with more texts, emojis, and keyboard faces. We reply each other once every one or two days. Only had one long text conversation once. I don’t mind since through other romantic interests that I had, I realised that frequent texting overwhelms me and I will end up ghosting them.
Lack of Initiation on his side: Invited him for lunch a few times but he always said he already had plans. The only time he ditched his lunch plan was when I told him our direct manager wants him to join us for lunch since it’s our last few days. Trying to get him to hangout with me took like 3 days of texting, like convincing him it’s not nonsense from me and I actually want to hangout. Subsequently, he asked if I want to invite other interns along, I said I don’t mind inviting one or two but I’m okay with not inviting any. Proceeds to ask which intern that I want to invite, I suggested another guy intern A that we are both close to. This other guy has a girlfriend and I’m not interested in him, so would count as a mutual. He told me that he will leave the invitation up to me. But honestly, I would rather hangout with him alone to get to know him on a deeper level.
Question:
Help reddit, not sure if he’s interested or I’m delusional? Also, what’s the next best course of action regarding the hangout and this relation respectively? Any responses is great, I don’t have much genuine romantic experiences with guys.