This is not a "forever alone" post. This is a genuine question that I can't find an answer for anywhere.
I am 30M. I have a full-time job. I own a house. I make six figures. I have a car. I have my college degrees. I can't find women anywhere.
Where am I usually? I'm at work. Or out hiking. Or in the park watching birds, or running. Or I'm at the gun range. Or I'm at the book store. Or I'm playing video games at home. Or I'm working out at home. A few times a year I will be at a hacking convention/conference or industry conference or a gaming convention or an anime convention. I don't see single women in my day-to-day life.
I don't drink. I hate drugs. I'm not a fan of typical parties. I will never be at a bar or club. I don't go to gyms because I hate lifting weights and I am already at 9% body fat. I'm not on dating apps and I don't use social media. Where exactly am I supposed to look for women?
I tried expanding into hobby groups to meet women, but all I found were more dudes looking for women. Architecture tour? Dudes. Gym? Dudes. Art class? Seniors. Bird watching? Seniors. Urban photography? Couples and dudes. Cooking class? Couples and more seniors. Church? Couples, seniors, and children.
I don't have high standards. I'm just looking for a woman that is at least compatible enough to start talking to. That means she shares at least one of my hobbies or interests (no, not all of them). Computers, or cars, or video games, or 3d sculpting, or hiking, or guns, or bird watching, or hunting, or history, or international policy. She doesn't need to be super invested in any of those, she just needs to at least be able to hold a conversation about one of them.
I am in the Midwest right now. I am seriously thinking of moving to north Virginia both for a job promotion and because there are literally no women here aside from the ones that are into recreational drugs, are alcoholics, or are already married. The Washington metro area must have better choices.
People say "put yourself out there" but then they instantly clam up when I ask where exactly am I supposed to go to do that. No one is willing to tell me where single women that are compatible hang out, so I'm starting to believe they don't really exist. Even replies here on Reddit if they are not blatant trolls, usually goes:
replier: "I know a girl like that."
me: "Where did you meet her?"
replier: joke answer or no response
Every single time.
Are women now immediately paired up coming out of high school then stay paired up or married through college? No one is willing to tell me otherwise. But I don't want to give up. I want a wife and huge family. I don't want to feel desperate as time goes on but options keep disappearing. I am more than willing to look but no one is telling me where to look. Is there actually no hope for introverted men like me and this is a pointless endeavor to want a wife and family?
Where are the women? Where have you met women that would fit with the above?