My fiancé and I recently started having penetrative sex. He’s 32 and I’m 28. I’m the first person he has ever had sex with. I have a little experience with past boyfriends, my last one being three years ago.
He comes from a very strict culture where interaction with the opposite sex was forbidden for most of his life. He has essentially masturbated for 20 years straight.
From the start of dating me he had been open to penetrative sex. When we got engaged he decided he wanted to try. Before we started penetrative sex we did oral for a while. It sometimes takes a bit long, around 20 minutes or so, but he doesn’t seem to have an issue finishing with that. However when we try penetrative sex he cannot finish. He is rock hard (sometimes painfully he says) the entire time and assures me that he is feeling great physically and emotionally towards me, but the sex can go on for hours without him ejaculating. Eventually we finish by oral.
He has been feeling embarrassed about this and for not having had experience before me. He suspects it might be the years of masturbating, nerves and perhaps some anxieties over not pleasing me good enough.
I am understanding and try to be encouraging. He assures me he is attracted to me and I’m doing everything beautifully, but I sometimes start to doubt myself, as I haven’t had the most experience either.
I wonder what we can do. I enjoy the sex and the length of time he can go, but I get off best seeing him finish.
Any advice on ways we can remedy the situation, on our own or by working together?
I want to be as sensitive as possible as I know him being over 30 and feeling inexperienced is a real sore point for him.