Hi , im (25F) I have a boyfriend but i dont have any children.
To start things off, I have a disorder called Trichotillomania. I pull out my brows and lashes ever since I was 5 years old. I was severely bullied for it my entire life which has taken a toll on my self esteem and caused immense amount of overall mental trauma. Theres no cure for it. Basically i compare myself to every woman i see and simply coming across them on media makes me want to peel out of my skin. i really look like an egg.
Thats just one example of why im different but I also like different things which may come off like im Autisic but im not. I really enjoy Roller Coasters and Reptiles. Like hardcore fan. obsessive fan. I travel around the country to visit theme parks and reptile expos. Its my freedom… my peace.
Ive always had a hard time befriending women because of my insecurities and trauma. And no, therapy doesnt work.
Obviously when you grow up most people lose their school friends so thats what happened to me. Since then ive kinda just relied on the solo friendship of a partner/boyfriend.
Its hard to find Women who relate to me… everyone is married, has kids, has a fancy life. Its just not topics i want to always talk about at the dinner table. If thats understandable?
Theres was a girl i met through my ex about 3 years ago. We hit it off instantly and became what i THOUGHT was a close friendship. She invited me to hangout sometimes and she even bought me a christmas gift. I really loved her… she was the only friend i had…
I moved 2 hours away about 5 months ago and she bought a house and got engaged. I was so happy for her. But then she stopped speaking to me…
Last wednesday i had a dentist appointment in her town so i texted her to invite her to lunch afterwards. I was looking forward to seeing her but she gave me an excuse…
Turns out she had an engagement party this past weekend and didnt even offer me an invite…
I am in pieces and heartbroken. i cried for 3 hours.
So im over it. im over being friends with women. However, i would love advice on how i can try to feel better about this as well as myself. how can i find more people like me… who want me, and my endless friendship and love.