TLDR BOYFRIEND NEVER REALLY CHOOSES ME, seems very hesitant of commitment
My boyfriend is 37 and we are long distance (an hour and a half apart). I have three kids from a previous marriage that ended years ago and from the start of our relationship, he had reservations about that. We have been together almost two years and there have been a lot of different issues. However, one big issue is that although we are in a relationship, the future is very uncertain with us. I ask him, "is this kind of life what you really want, a family? Because with me, that's what you'd have." And his answer is never yes, of course I do because I love you and the kids and we will make it work together. It's always, without fail, "that question isn't black and white. I'm not moving to where you live, it's like you want me to be super stepdad. I think we are doing the right thing by taking our time. It's fine to have a family as long as it doesn't get in the way of all the things I want to do. And with my music."
Maybe I'm missing something or maybe I'm expecting too much. But after almost two years, shouldn't someone know if that's what they want or not? I'm independent, I provide for my children and myself, I am getting my PhD right now. But I truly don't understand it, it leaves me feeling unloved. I also tell him sometimes I don't feel loved by you because he never tells me how he feels about me. Or shows me. He tells me he did that for girlfriends before and it was unappreciated. Then says it's not fair to me but doesn't change anything.