Hey there
(24M) I have been dating a girl for like two months now, and I’ve been experiencing some difficulties.
For context, I had 2 long-term relationships and I am not really sure how the first stages of dating work anymore, I just got used to being in relationships that require a different kind of communication and effort.
I met this girl, she’s a colleague of mine (Master’s Degree) and we both have full time jobs.
We started dating two months ago, and from the start she hardly answered my texts, and I had troubles actually getting to talk to her through texting and sometimes even calls. Most of our interactions happened face to face
She is not very active on social media, and rarely uses her phone (or that is what she claims). She is more old-fashioned (or traditional) both in her lifestyle and her way of doing things
Thing is, she had a long-term relationship (for about two years) in highschool, but it was kind of hard as her family didn’t quite approve and it was kind of long-distance (for teenager standards).
She is very discrete about pretty much everything in her life, and doesn’t allow me to get close to her, even though I’ve been showing a lot of tolerance and patience. There is a huge wall between us, even though I’ve been open to her and tried to be as honest as you can get.
I know there is not one else in her life in a romantic sense, but I feel like she treats the relationship we are having as something given, not really putting in work or effort
She answers text once 3-4 hours, then disappears again (it is not like she does anything. I understand that at work she can’t, but after that she has free time and doesn’t find the minute to answer texts)
On the other hand, when we meet, she is affectionate and claims that she likes me a lot, that she doesn’t want to lose me, and seems to be invested into our thing, but I feel like there are some problems that I cannot identify
I do not know if it is me or her. I could be the one too invested and she keeps the natural distance as it is a new relationship, but I would like to hear your opinions