I apologize in advance for being all over with this. I recently experienced a sudden death in my life. A woman who works in a different department but same building, let's call her Mary, invited me for lunch shortly after the tragedy.
We went out a few times. Breakfast, lunch, shopping. Things were OK. Conversation didn't come super easy, but any relationship takes effort.
I invited her out for breakfast, but all of a sudden Mary got very controlling. We can't have breakfast, only lunch. We can only go to places she wants to go.
If I walk by her department, I HAVE to go in to see her or she will make comments such as " oh yeah, just walk by, don't say hi".
She then invited me to bible study. I was interested in going, so I agreed.
Two weeks ago we had plans for lunch, but Mary canceled. So far she has not asked to reschedule.
When I saw her at work this week she told me that she has already started doing the study, and asked if I had as well. I am confused because the actual Bible study starts in October.
Then Mary came down to the office where I was working. I greeted her, but another person also said hello to her and they started talking. She completely ignored me, then she left, even though she told me later that she had come down to see me.
She once told me that I had experienced a lot of negative recently and that "I deserve to have something good happen".
In general, I have always kept my personal and work life separate, and so I am not sure how to extricate myself from this situation. I don't work closely with her, but do see her regularly, so I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I no longer want to see her outside of work.
I feel like she considers herself to be the "something good" in my life, but actually it's the opposite. Instead of being a comfort, I feel like she pities me, and this feels icky to me.
Any suggestions for putting this "friendship" in it's proper place?