Please forgive me for my terrible English. I am not a native speaker. Also, I am not here to look for pity or to vent. I want an advice on this situation.
For the context, I've been dating my girlfriend for a year now. We had quite a few ups and downs in this relationship, but we went through those hardships and sticked together. However, last night when I went out with my friends that came a long way to visit me, she got frustrated and told me that she does not expect me to change much about my behavior as she has given up on me but would still like to continue the relationship. The behavior that she does not like about me is that I sometimes would speak in a roundabout way which makes my intention ambiguous. I understand that my lack of clarity may cause her to suspect if I am hiding anything. I've. been trying to break out of this behavior for quite a while now, but it happened again last night where I wanted to take a cab home at midnight but did not ask her to accompany her on video call directly. Then she got mad at me for being ambiguous and complained that I never bothered to change this behavior.
Another thing that she complained about is that I seem to make some small empty promises. For example, last night I went out with my friends I told her that I would leave at 12 in the morning while hanging out with my friends. However, at the end I left at 2:30. Understandably, she was frustrated and was mad about me. I know this is a very bad habit and behavior as I don't blame her for being mad at frustrated at me. However, the part where she complained about that my behavior never changed is honestly kind of heartbreaking. She always has a high expectation where she wants me to change my behavior and habit immediately, and if I cannot do it, she would get mad and tell me about how disappointed she is and would offer break ups while asking me how hard is it to change that habit and behavior.
As far as I can say, I feel like I have tried my very best to change my behavior over the past year while being in a relationship with her. Last night really broke me where she say that she would not expect me to change anymore and specifically told me that she won't be putting much effort into this relationship anymore. It feels so hurt that I have not gotten any sleep last night.
I know that it is my fault in this specific scenario, but what should I do to make it up to her? I'm really burnt out from thinking solution to this argument as she would repeatedly be disappointed in me when I am slowly changing my behavior that she does not like. It's been like this over a year now.
TLDR: I am trying to best to change my habit and behavior that she points out to me that she does not like, but the pace of me changing does not seem to match up my girlfriend's expectation.