I (20M) have been seeing a girl (19F) for about 2 months.
Just this past weekend on the Sunday I asked her to make it official and be my girlfriend (we will call my girlfriend Sienna).
The night before i asked her to be my girlfriend she went out clubbing with her best friend we will call her Ruby, I didn’t go as her best friend lives a 2 hour drive away and I had somewhere else to go.
The town they went out in is also kind of far from where Ruby lives so they were planning on staying at a different friends place we will call him Samuel, who is gay.
Anyway the end of the night comes around (about 1:30am) and I believe it’s just her and her friend together eating food.
I’m not sure how whether it was over text or if they were with them but Ruby is invited to a guys house and she wants to go but it would have left Sienna by herself so the so the guy who invited Ruby over has a friend who they know (we will call him John) and Sienna has met before who said that Sienna can crash at his place.
Now some important detail, Sienna has previously slept with john before she knew me about 4 months ago and Sienna said to me that he cried after the sex because he was still hung up on his ex. Sienna claims after he cried she made a mental note that their relationship would be platonic from that point on.
Let’s quickly skip to the morning after, Sienna was complaining to me on the phone that she only has 2 hours of sleep as Ruby woke her up to get out of bed at 9am even tho Sienna went to sleep at 7am, I said to her why is Ruby so keen to get up if she went to sleep at pretty much the same time? Sienna then said that Ruby was asleep by 2am.
What this means is not only did Sienna go to another man’s house that she’s previously had an intimate relationship with she was up with him in his room for 5 hours and (2am-7am) and she swears to me nothing happened and that he saw that I text her asking if she got home safe and knew about me.
I found out because she wanted to show me videoes of her night out and tell me about it when she clicked on one video where the first sentance was “I’m going to johns house” after those words were said she quickly swiped off the video and wouldn’t let me go on her phone, she has never been defensive of her phone and I know her password. But after she threw it on the bed and I picked it up she tried snatching it out of my hand and being very adamant on not wanting me to see the video.
I eventually convinced her to show me the video which there was no concerns about the video other than the first sentamce but before she showed me the vid she wanted to explain the situation which she did telling me about Ruby going off with another guy and John saying she can stay at his and kept telling me they didn’t do anything. Sienna did leave out the part about being up for 5 hours with him.
So to summarise she stayed at a guys house she’s had intercourse with, and it’s not like she got there and went to sleep she stayed up with him for 5 hours until 7am in the morning and never told me where she was going I just thought she would stay with her gay friend. And if I didn’t see the start of that video saying she was going to his house then i believe she would not of told me about it.
I’ve confronted her about it and she’s apologised many times saying she’s really sorry and saying she would do anything to make me feel better about it. When we were in the middle of the conversation she started softly crying and when I asked why she said “because I hurt you”.
Also when I ask why she didn’t just go to Samuel’s house she said she doesn’t know.
Would really appreciate some advice on the situation if this even reaches anyone I believe her when she says nothing happened but at the same time all the signs are telling me otherwise
I feel like im in love with this girl and I just don’t know what to do.
If I had of found out about it I probably wouldn’t have asked her to make it official and although shes brocken my trust I don’t know if I should end things or try to forgive her which I’m already trying to do.
Cheers.