I (M 20) and just getting over a year and half relationship with my ex girlfriend whom I met on Tinder during peak quarantine and we did actually have a strongish bond I thought, but since December it’s been falling apart. But, now I feel kinda ready to try and get back in the dating scene, but I just feel lost and stuck.
I don’t know how to meet people. I am not in school, I work at Amc Theaters during the week, can’t go to bars, I am never in places where it is socially acceptable to “hit on girls.” The girls at work are either too young, or just not my type. Even then, I really don’t want to date a coworker. I’ve been seeing this cute girl at my local coffee shop drive through, that I have considered wanting to ask her out, but I’ve been told either “asking for her number” or “giving her mine and leaving it up to her to text me,” would be creepy or make her uncomfortable. And at this point I feel if I don’t just at least try with this girl I feel like I will never find someone by just going about my daily routine/life.
I guess my question is “How am I supposed to meet someone when the time is right?” Because like I said, either it’s impossible to find someone at work, me myself being approached by a girl, or shooting my shot and approaching girls when I am out. But I feel like all those situations are impossible to find someone…
Like I go to the gym, going to work, go to malls, go through drive throughs and most of those places I see attractive girls. But I feel in any of those situations it would just be creepy to try and approach anyone.
And I want to add. I have vowed to never try the online dating thing again. It didn’t work out and I got screwed in the long wrong. So I want to meet someone normally.
And yes I know dating isn’t everything, I should focus on being single, enjoy my 20’s. Blah blah blah, nut I’m mostly just having this panic because I don’t want to be alone forever cause I don’t have a good social life…
Please be helpful and kind, thank you in advance for the help.
2 comments
In my opinion and preferences, I wouldn’t mind someone (who’s acting normal) handing me their number and giving me a gentle compliment. At work, at the gym, shopping. What makes a man creepy is the following, staring, long drawn out pickup lines, picking me for information about myself, and not walking away immediately after the interaction. As a woman I have a hard time understanding why you think the line between creepy and not creepy is so thin. Walk up confidently, introduce yourself, say she has a nice smile, and to text you if she wants to go on a day date, walk away.
You were with her for a year and a half… As relationships go that’s fairly successful. I don’t understand why you think that means you have to swear off online dating. If you now meet someone offline and eventually break up will you have to swear off dating altogether because both online and offline didn’t work in the long run?