Essentially we were on a call yadda yadda and he said he went skating with his friend Hannah at a rink for the first time. I said that I had a silly little dumb thought but I’m not going to say it. Then he pressed me to say it and I said that I was jealous I wasn’t the first girl to go skating with him at a rink. I later realized it is because of the fact that I want to spend time with him and so cute stuff or whatever, and that there aren’t really any firsts that both of us haven’t had. I have no issue with him having female friends. He hates jealous people. I don’t know what to do. I shouldn’t have said it, but then don’t ask?? Whenever I express something it feels like he is always quick to put me down but I know he doesn’t know how he comes off. The thing is, NEITHER DO I!! And then when shit gets tough he doesn’t respond for a day so my brain gets anxious and I get a free anxiety attack wondering if what I texted was wrong. I would attach the texts but I can’t here.
He said he would invite me if he knew I wouldn’t be weird, MAYBE IF YOU TOLD ME HOW IWAS WEIRD I T WOULD HELP. We both have autism of course we can’t read rooms. IM ALWAYS TRYING TO CALCULATE HOW HE WANTS ME TO BE. Now he doesn’t have the energy to make it work. Idk what to do. I got called unhinged for what I said and I don’t know what to think anymore. Advice please.