I (27f) have been dating 39 M since March this year.
He is a lone parent (no involvement from mum) to 2 children (2 and 4) and I am also a lone parent to a 7 year old.
In the beginning things were great, weekly dates just the two of us. Around June he asked if he could bring his 4 year old daughter out with us for the day since he has not spent much time with her that week due to work. I said let’s postpone the day and he can spend some 1:1 time with her but he pushed and said he missed me etc. So I caved and met up with him and the daughter.
Ever since this day, he has never organised childcare for them on date days and nights and I have now met both children. Even at times I have tried to organise something with him exclusively, along come the kids. It makes me uncomfortable how clingy his kids are with me which I can’t blame them as they don’t have a maternal figure in their life, but at this early stage in the relationship I feel he needs to insert some boundaries for them.
I feel like I haven’t had time to get to know him because the kids are always there.
Don’t get me wrong, I understand the limitations of dating as a sole parent with limited childcare, but I would not even consider a new partner meeting my son until further down the line.
I feel bad ending it with him because I do like him plus I feel strangely guilty about meeting his children who like me just to end contact but ultimately I feel that he isn’t making any effort to see me one to one and give this relationship a go.
I am debating sending him a message ending things rather than meeting with him since he’s always bringing the kids which will make breaking it off in person difficult.
Ultimately just wanted to get some opinions on this, should I end it now or try and have a conversation with him to see if things can change?