I’m in my 30s and I’m still struggling to figure out how to communicate well enough during sex.
I was in a long relationship where we grew together so it was a non issue, but now ending up in short term or new situations and i don’t seem comfortable giving my partners any feedback even if they are asking and trying.
I see generic suggestions for feedback like you’re supposed to tell them how to touch you, but I just don’t feel like I know what to say. Part of the hang up is I don’t (think I) want someone to try to do the exact thing I do for myself, nor try to mimic something I’ve done with someone else. Also usually what I want is like a softer, more precise touch, or more teasing and build up – and I don’t really believe that the men that aren’t already doing that can or that it’s a simple change.. or maybe idk what to say to cue it.
Also it’s just hard in the moment to think and feel and communicate, so if I do try to say something usually I’m not in the headspace where I’m enjoying it anymore.
Can someone give me some examples of things you’ve said to partners and how?